Maybe you're still here
by JillyWillyBean
Summary: PG 13 at this point for language and insinuations...Basic Summary.: GH used to be together. Watch as they renew their friendship and eventually love. Will it all come crashing down again? COMPLETED
1. Bitterness and sorrow

reA.N: Yah yah JK Rowling own's HP, we all know that by now, she's a talented author, all props to her. Ok so yah, but this story is mine. Enjoy and review it if you like, or if you hate it.  
  
Harry Potter was a changed man since the defeat of the long time villain Lord Voldemort. Everyone who was close to him saw the change sweep over him; some saw it better then others. It had been five long years since Harry Potter, the boy who lived, had become a murderer. Every single person who belonged to the wizarding world praised him for what he had done though; he had killed Voldemort in his 17th year. The poor boy was aged well beyond his years him being only 23 but looking well into his thirties. The years that had been added onto his short life gave him a distinguishable face that many girls were still swooning over. Always being rather on the thin side, Harry Potter had finally grown into his body now reaching just above 6 feet in height and having an athletic build from all his years of playing quidditch. Only weeks after having graduated from Hogwarts Harry had been recruited by hordes of Europe's finest teams. He had accepted the Chudley Cannons offer to become their seeker; the Cannons hadn't lost a game since.  
  
The new and more depressed Harry entered a very downtrodden pub, The Leaky Cauldron. It may have looked dingy in appearance but every witch and wizard who resided in Britain knew of its fame, and had probably stopped in once or twice for a butterbeer or a shot of fire whiskey. Slumping into the nearest unoccupied stool, Harry put his elbows on the counter and his face into his hands, sighing in a moody sort of way.  
  
"Tom I'll have ale please," Harry said to the waiting bartender. Tom gave him a toothy grin then ducked behind the counter. A minute later a tall glass of ale was sitting in front of Harry who eyed it wearily. After another heavy sigh Harry pulled the glass to his lips and took a long drink. After a few more sips, the glass was empty.  
  
"What do I owe you Tom?" asked a weary Harry. He shuffled a bit to retrieve a dark leather pouch from inside the folds of his robes.  
  
"Ah Mr. Potter, this ones on the house," said Tom with another toothy grin. Returning the grin with a half-smile that more resembled a grimace, Harry got up from the stool and exited the pub.  
  
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Harry pulled out his wand and tapped the bricks in the alley behind The Leaky Cauldron; if a muggle had been around they would have passed out for the wall, or rather where it had been, had been transformed into an enormous doorway, which Harry quickly entered. The street that Harry was now on was one of the most amazing and well-hidden secrets of the wizarding world, Diagon Alley. Hands in pocket and face down Harry walked slowly through the busy world that lay before him. He was stopped a few times by young boys asking for his autograph (him being a world famous seeker and murderer of course) he grinned sheepishly at the thought of anyone wanting his autograph. As he was walking along the road, heading towards his flat, Harry bumped into someone he hadn't seen in almost 3 years, Ron Weasley.  
  
"Oh pardon m- RON?!" Harry said bewildered, his face brightening slightly.  
  
"Harry! Good God mate I haven't seen you in ages! How ya been?" Ron said in an animated voice.  
  
"Oh, not to bad, you know working a lot, if you could call it that." Harry fumbled over the words as if he didn't know what to say to his long time no see best friend. Ron didn't buy it.  
  
"Mum was just talking about you the other day, mental she is. She kept blabbing on and on about her missing son and all." Ron blushed as he recounted the rest of his mothers' quite gushy spews about missing Harry. Harry nodded politely in the right places, but his attention was waning. His eye caught a glint of something gold on Ron's left hand ring finger. Harry grinned and interrupted Ron who had been gushing for nearly a quarter of an hour.  
  
"So when did you and Hermione finally get hitched?" a mischievous grin spread onto Harry's worn face.  
  
"Wha? Oh. why do you assume it's Hermione I married?" Ron asked, a furious blush overpowering the freckles that still spotted his face.  
  
"Oh c'mon now Ron, one Hermione hinted it MANY times in her letters, and two, I always knew it'd happen." The grin on Harry's face was genuine and quite mad looking now.  
  
"Oh, well we actually," gulp," eloped." Ron said while blushing, if possible, even more furiously.  
  
"I was wondering why I didn't get an invite," Harry muttered in mock disappointment.  
  
"Now Harry." Ron began, but Harry chided in.  
  
"I was only fooling Ron, I wouldn't expect one, not after how I've avoided everyone for three years." The smirk was wiped off Harry's face which quickly became clouded with anger and remorse.  
  
"Harry mate, we all miss you, but no one hates you for staying away. We would of invited you if it were going to be anything worth seeing." Ron went on trying to lighten the mood a bit.  
  
"Yah, well Ron I really have to be going. quidditch practice you know." Harry tried to slip away then, but alas, it was to no avail.  
  
"Oh, alright Harry, say why don't you stop by the Burrow this Friday, I'll have mum cook you up something special and we'll make a right party of it eh? Just like old times?" Harry would have protested if it weren't for the look Ron gave him, which clearly stated there was no getting out of this one.  
  
"Alright Ron, you've got me cornered," sighed Harry.  
  
"Great, come around 6, I'll tell mum and everyone. See you Harry!" Ron called as he headed down the street.  
  
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Shaking his head, Harry opened the door to his humble one bedroom flat that was located towards the middle of Diagon Alley. Slumping down onto his well-worn couch (not that he couldn't afford a new one) Harry placed his head in his hands with a sigh. He was thinking over possible excuses of how to get out of the dinner party with the Weasley's, but nothing came to mind that would work. Sighing once again, the weary man laid down on the couch and let his mind wander to the past.  
  
*Her eyes were so beautiful in the moonlight, so beautiful. They were  
  
such a magnificent blue that it was hard to look away from them. The young man of 17 sighed as he walked with a beautiful red headed girl; hand in hand they made their way around a very familiar lake.  
  
"Gin." whispered a raven haired boy.  
  
"Shh. don't spoil the moment Harry," the pale beautiful girl said as she touched her fingers to his lips.  
  
The boy swept the girl into his arms and the two were lost in a passionate kiss. After a moment of heated kissing, Harry took Ginny's hand and looked around frantically, the two could be seen running into the very beginnings of the forest.  
  
"Harry. what. are. you. doing.?" Asked an out of breath Ginny.  
  
"Shh. Gin, don't spoil the moment." Said Harry.  
  
"Wha?" Ginny started, but Harry's mouth was already over her own. The young lovers got swept up into the night, and soon they were lying next to each other, bodies spent, their breath ragged.*  
  
Harry played that moment over and over many times in his mind. In his sleep, he smiled as he thought about the way her mouth had curled into a smile afterwards, and how her damp body had felt against his.  
  
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Before he knew it, Friday had rapidly approached, and the clock must have been playing tricks on him, for it already said 5:58. No backing out now thought Harry to himself. Without a second thought to what he was wearing, or his blasted hair, Harry apparated into the sitting room of the Weasley's tipsy house, the Burrow. At once, the aged Mrs. Weasley swept Harry into a tight embrace. Harry nervously patted her back, he hadn't seen her in more then 3 years. Mrs. Weasley looked much the same except for the gray hair that crept into the bright red that the Weasley's were so famous for.  
  
"Oh Harry, we've missed you so," the old woman said with a pained look in her eyes.  
  
"Yah, erm, I've missed you guys too," Harry was only half lying when he said this. He did miss his favorite family of wizards, but depression and work kept him too busy to care much about his social life.  
  
Before either of them could get out another word, the women that had been haunting Harry's dreams came bounding down the stairs. Harry gasped softly at a face that had grown, if possible, more beautiful over the years. A slight blush crept into Ginny Weasley's face as she saw Harry stare at her the way he had not so many years ago.  
  
"Harry, oh how good to see you," stiffness was in the voice that greeted him. With the same forced politeness, Harry greeted his once true love back.  
  
"Ginny, you haven't changed a bit." Her eyebrows raised as he said this.  
  
"I'd like to think I've grown up a bit since then," she said, challenging him. Harry didn't say anything knowing how bad of a temper she could have. Instead, he gave a slight chuckle and shook his head, while Ginny all the while glared at him. Sensing the tension (as most good mothers can), Mrs. Weasley invited Harry into the kitchen for a before supper tea.  
  
It didn't take long, only two cups of tea in fact, before the whole Weasley clan had arrived. Mr. Weasley, his bald spot becoming more noticeable, came into the kitchen wearing a worn look, but brightened up as soon as he saw Harry. Ron, Hermione, and quite to Harry's surprise, a little redheaded toddler came into the kitchen and then the chaos of hugs began. Pretty soon, Fred, George and Percy were added to the now very full kitchen, each one of them giving Harry a hearty handshake and grin. Bill and Charlie were last to arrive, and when they did, Mrs. Weasley shouted at them all to leave, for she could hardly walk, so that she could finish supper. Hermione stayed behind to help her. The older boys went outside to set up picnic tables, giving Ron and Harry some time alone to catch up a bit more.  
  
"So Ron, erm. is she yours?" Harry chuckled nervously.  
  
"Yah." Ron gazed at his daughter fondly.  
  
"Congratulations, a bit late I'd say, but better late then never." Harry had no idea how to keep conversation with his best friend. They had certainly lost touch over the past few years, not that a certain red headed boy hadn't tried to remain his friend.  
  
"Yah. we named her Lily." Harry felt his eyes sting as he heard this. His friends obviously cared for him, a lot, why had he pushed them so far away?  
  
"Thanks," Harry managed to choke out. Ron didn't say anything; he just clapped his hand on Harry's shoulder in a boyish sort of way.  
  
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Pretty soon, supper was ready and everyone was herded outside by an over anxious Mrs. Weasley Sr. and Jr. respectively. The two picnic tables groaned under the large amounts of food the Mrs. Weasley's had been able to conjure up. Soon, all the plates were filled, emptied, refilled, and yet again emptied. All of the adults sat back in a satisfied way, while young Lily Weasley decided to nap on her fathers lap. Not wanting to break the mood, Harry was not the one to strike up the conversation. Mrs. Weasley politely asked about work, while the boys all excitedly added they had been following the games. Ron was grinning madly because for once in his sad career as a Cannon's fan, they were actually winning. Ginny had not spoken once during the supper, but she had had her eyes on Harry the whole time. He could feel her eyes staring into him, into his very soul. Only one person knew Harry better then himself, and that person was Miss Virginia Weasley. He looked over to her and was not at all surprised at the look on her face which said "What-the-heck-do-you-think-you're-pulling-Potter?" She could see right through all the false answers Harry had been giving everyone (except about work) and it scared him.  
  
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Around 9:30 that night Harry declared to everyone that he had to leave, he made a few loose promises to stay in better contact from here on out. If truth be told, he had missed them, all of them, even Ginny, but he didn't feel like part of the family anymore. He knew that all of them, well maybe not Ginny, would have welcomed him back with open arms, but he wasn't ready for it yet. His thoughts zoomed back to the last time he had seen Virginia Weasley as he walked into his bedroom. He slumped down on his bed as the sad memory unfolded in his mind.  
  
*"Harry, what the hell is the matter with you?" Asked a confused Ginny.  
  
"Gin." Harry was shaking and there was blood covering his robes. "Gin I  
need to go away, I don't think we're going to work out. I'm sorry, I love  
you, I'm so sorry." Harry had a look of intense pain as he said this. He  
kissed the now ashen faced Ginny one last time then backed away from her.  
  
"Dammit Harry!" Ginny called, she flung a small ring after him, but he  
was already gone. The poor girl then burst into tears. *  
  
Harry sighed as the memory repeated itself inside his head over and over until he was forced into a tormented sleep. Waking at 5:30 am in a sweat, Harry decided he had had enough sleep for one day. Getting groggily out of bed and into the shower. Turning the water on full blast he let the cold-water run down his skin, thoughts of last night on his mind. He felt bad about making promises he didn't intend to keep, but he figured the Weasley's would understand, after all, they had the last for the last 3 years. After 15 minutes or more of thinking, Harry got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and headed into the living room. A loud crack came out of nowhere, and suddenly Harry found himself tumbled on top of someone with strikingly red hair.  
  
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"Ginny!" Harry gasped, "why are you here?" he inquired.  
  
"Get the bloody hell off of me and I just might tell you Potter!" her reply was harsh.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Harry quickly got off and extended his hand to help her up, which she rather rudely declined.  
  
"Err Gin, why don't I go change into something more, erm, decent," a nervous chuckle escaped Harry's throat as he said this. He hadn't lost any of the feelings he once had for her, she was still the only woman he'd ever loved.  
  
"Harry, don't give me that, I was your fiancé once, I've sure as hell seen you in far less then that." Harry was surprised at how bitter Ginny had become, but he blushed none the less as she said this to him.  
  
"Well, erm, is there a reason you're here, or are you just anxious to see me?" A bit of a smirk came on Harry's face as he said this.  
  
"Cut the bullshit, of course I have a reason for being here." The smirk vanished.  
  
"Enlighten me if you would." Harry was starting to feel rather annoyed.  
  
"Fine. I don't know what the hell you were trying to pull with all that bullshit about staying in touch, but you really need to cut it Potter. I don't give a damn if you hurt me, God knows you have already," Harry shifted uncomfortably here, "I don't want you hurting my family anymore Harry. You've already given them plenty damn 'nough to be heartbroken about, so, in other words; unless you can keep your slippery promises, don't go making them." Ginny was very riled up by the end of her obviously rehearsed speech.  
  
"Gin. I never wanted to hurt you." Harry changed the subject a bit.  
  
"Leave me out of this. Just swear to me you won't hurt my family again. Mum cries about you at least once a week. I hate seeing her get so emotional over a bastard like you, but then again the poor girl considers you her son." Ginny didn't take any pains to be nice.  
  
"Gin, I'm sorry 'bout what happened between us. Can't we be friends again at least?" Harry had reached out to touch her cheek as he said this, she flinched under his touch.  
  
"Dammit potter, just swear you'll leave my family alone and I can be on my way!" Ginny yelled.  
  
"Fine Ginny, I won't hurt them again. I promise." Harry looked hurt as he said this.  
  
"Good, well I better be off then," Harry's hand was still holding her cheek as she said this. Flustered and quite angry, Ginny Weasley apparated under Harry's touch causing him so drop his hand to his side. He had almost forgotten how soft her skin had felt. Almost.  
  
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Harry immersed himself in quidditch that afternoon, trying, though not succeeding, to get a certain red head out of his mind. After having thought it out weeks in advance, Harry had decided to resign from the Cannons, it had only been 4 years since he had been put on the team, but he felt as though not even quidditch could make him feel better anymore. This thought temporarily put Ginny out of his mind. He didn't even know why he had decided to practice today; perhaps he needed a good flight to sooth his rumpled feathers. Practice was over much too soon in Harry's opinion. Almost regretting the decision he had made, Harry stuck around afterwards wanting to speak to the coach. His coach listened patiently, made two futile attempts to keep Harry there (a bigger salary raise, and then another even bigger salary raise) but Harry assured him he had enough money for two lifetimes. After seeing there was nothing he could do, Harry's coach shook his hand and told him he was always welcome back on the team, that is, unless he suddenly gained about 50 pounds. Sighing, Harry walked around that quidditch field for the last time.  
  
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Not being able to get the meeting with Ginny out of his mind, Harry kept true to his promise and wrote to Mrs. Weasley first thing when he got home. He thanked her again for having him, and included a little note to Mr. Weasley saying he had some plugs for him. Chuckling to himself about Mr. Weasley's plug obsession, he tied the note to Hedwig who was becoming rather lazy (seeing as she hadn't had a job all summer long). The owl gave him a rather hard, the loving, nip at his finger as if to reprimand him for forgetting her. He gave her a hurt look, and as if saying "ok fine, you're forgiven" flew off, nipping his finger one more time, only a little gentler this time. He had decided not to include the part about resigning from the Cannons in his note. With a heavy sigh, Harry wondered what he would do for work. He, and most of the world, knew that he could live off his Cannons paychecks from the last 4 years for his entire life, not only that, but people from high up in the ministry often slipped him bags of galleons. Apparently, being a murderer had it's compensations, not that Harry wanted, nor felt better about being paid for the thing that caused his mood to worsen every day. When he could think of nothing that would suit him for a job, he took out yet another piece of parchment and began a letter to one very old friend.  
  
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Summer melted away into autumn, and Ginny Weasley was almost in shock to see that Harry had kept his promise to her very faithfully. Not only did he write atleast once every 2 weeks, but also he would surprise the whole family with a visit on occasion. Ginny liked these visits, though she hated to admit it. She still hadn't forgiven the boy who lived for what he had done for him, and she would be surprised to hear he hadn't forgiven himself either. After 4 rounds of pleasant visits, (where Harry got out of his dark mood for once), Ginny began to loosen up around him and not worry about a constant attack on her emotions. *Maybe people can change * she thought to herself one afternoon, but quickly shook that thought away. She knew Harry, she knew that this whole promise would turn into yet another broken promise; yet the poor girl couldn't blame him, too much that is. Harry had a tendency to push those he loved away, as if afraid of their love. This had happened much after his seventh year at Hogwarts. Nothing had been the same between him and Ginny after Voldemort fell, not even their love. It seemed too good to be true to Ginny, and it was; two years after Ginny had graduated, and Harry had already proposed, their relationship began to falter. The engagement was broken off, and Harry made as much distance from the family as possible, expecting them all to hate him. Quite the contrary though, only Ginny could make it in her heart to hate him, causing her to become a bitter woman beyond her years. Though the Weasley family, and Hermione too (though she was now a Weasley), had tried to remain in contact with their favorite son and brother at heart, Harry, who had sunk far into depression, pushed them even further away. * Oh well, let him be alone, if that's what he wants. * Thought a very bitter Ginny. She still had feelings for him to be sure, love like theirs couldn't be broke that easily, but her anger at him seemed to out weigh the love she felt for him these days.  
  
As if connected by some special bond, the two once lovers seemed to be thinking about each other at the same time. It would have been quite ironic if one of them had only had the nerve to speak to the other. Harry sat in his room, not bothering to turn on the lights; he liked it when the room reflected his mood, thoughts of Ginny Weasley were pouring in and out of his mind. There was something about that girl that drove him so damn crazy that he wanted to scream, rip out his hair, and make wild love with her all at the same time. When they had been together before it hadn't been like this. Both cared about the other, and both showed that in a sweet, almost story book kind of way. It was too good to be true, yet completely devoid of any control over his emotions, Harry found himself falling for her, hard, just the same. Before he knew it, he was head over heels in love with this girl, and she with him. It was a little too much for him to handle, and very soon, Harry found himself pushing her away. Farther and farther away until there was nothing left but anger between them. Harry looked back on what he had done to Ginny, how he had hurt her, and regretted it all every time he thought about it, which was quite more often then not. Out of respect, no one ever mentioned the break up when in the presence of either, and also out of respect, no one ever bothered to mention that both were still in love with the other. It was as plain as day, but neither bothered to see it, both were still to hurt, angry, and. well, bitter. As Harry thought of the state his horrible relationship with her was in, he only managed to sink further into depression. Clearing his mind of any unpleasant thoughts about a certain slender young woman, Harry went back to what he was doing earlier, packing.  
  
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Early in September, the visits from Harry had stopped, and Ginny thought she could finally prove him wrong and have a good reason (other then the reason) to be mad at him. However, much to her fake disappointment, his owls continued, almost daily it seemed. Curiosity overcame Ginny Weasley one day, and she found herself asking her mother about Harry's appearance, or rather, lack of. She was rather annoyed at herself for being curious, but she had (though not that she would ever admit it) grown once again accustomed to his presence, and couldn't help letting her thoughts wonder to how well he looked even with all premature growing he had done. His face had grown out of its boyish cuteness into a more subtle and mature handsome. Remembering why she was there, and desperately wanting to be spared of embarrassment, Ginny tried to make the conversation with her mother as casual as possible.  
  
"Mum." the red head beauty said softly.  
  
"Mmmm dear, is there something you need?" Inquired an aging Mrs. Weasley as she looked up from the dough she was kneading.  
  
"Well, I was just curious, I mean, well, it seems a bit strange that Harry would show up over the summer and then soon as autumn hits, bam he's gone. But then again, he never was one to keep promises." Ginny found herself rambling on and blushed quite furiously when she caught site of her mothers bemused expression. Anger flashed up inside of her not wanting her mother to suspect anything, because there was nothing, right? Ginny made a lame excuse.  
  
"Oh I was just curious. Ron was asking me about it the other day." after her mother answered her, she knew she had given herself away.  
  
"Oh, well dear, Harry's gone off to his new job," her mother replied in a very nonchalant way.  
  
"Where mum, if you don't mind?" Ginny was getting annoyed now; she knew exactly what her mother was playing at. "Hmm well he went to teach at Hogwarts of course, but why would Ron be needing to know? He was the one who first told me," Mrs. Weasley's eyes had a devilish glint in them as she said this.  
  
"Oh! Right." a very dazed Ginny walked out of the kitchen, much to the amusement of the older woman.  
  
Ginny let herself sink down to the ground as she sat in the hallway of the second floor corridor in the very tipsy burrow.  
  
"Hogwarts." she said aloud, "but why wouldn't he. why didn't anyone tell me?" A little hurt at being the last to know, Ginny Weasley forgot the one logical reason no one would have told her. Harry. 


	2. authors note

A bit of an authors note for ya'll:  
  
- first off, if ya like it, or if ya hate it, feel free to review, just be nice about it, either way. secondly, if you want me to continue, lemme know. Feel free to email me if you'd like thirdly, if anyone has any Ginny/Harry stories they want someone to review, ask me! They're definetly my favorite couple ( ok so. yah just a bit of a note. lemme know what you think. 


	3. friends renewed, hope lost

Part 2!! w00t w00t!!! :D hope you guys like it... I'll keep going if you guys want.. Lemme know how you like it!! Thanks. Ooh and thank ya'll for the wonderful reviews that I got !! I really appreciate it. Here's a lil thanks to all my reviewers so far:  
  
Neni Potter, Satoriste, Evo422, catcher of dreams, starrynight394, Demosthenes42, a hopeful writer, Thank you guys so much for all your nice comments. Keep checking back, I will update twice a week I think. I have the story all plotted, it just takes awhile to get it from writing into the comp. it's sort of long. so thanks once again (I'm surprised I got any reviews) and remember to keep checking for updates.  
  
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Harry had adjusted to his new life as a teacher at Hogwarts quite easily. A few days after Harry had written his old friend Professor Dumbledore, an owl had been sent back with an offer for the position of defense against dark arts post. Being quite glad at Dumbledore's generosity, Harry had readily accepted the offer. One thing was for sure, he was glad to be going back to the one place he had always loved. Though trying to remain on speaking terms with a certain Miss Ginny Weasley, Harry had decided not to tell her about the new job. Perhaps he did this because of her refusal to answer his owls, all of which contained notes of a renewed friendship and apologies, that he didn't tell her, but even more probable was that he thought Ginny Weasley had given up caring for him altogether. He didn't want to bring himself to believe it but being a pretty sensible man, Harry didn't rule out the idea altogether. Besides, he figured she would hear about it soon enough seeing as Ron or her mum would spill it sooner or later.  
  
Autumn quickly faded into winter, and with it brought loneliness for Ginny Weasley. There was never a quiet moment at the Burrow, but the company was always the same. The chats with Hermione about her upcoming pregnancy, (her and Ron were expecting again), had begun to lose their novelty. Despite the warning in her heart, Ginny found herself thinking about being in the company of a certain raven-haired fellow once again. She had been getting on fine without him for the last three years, (well as good as one angry lovesick girl can be), but then he had to visit and make her remember how enchantingly green his eyes were.  
  
Mrs. Weasley, thought getting on in years, was not at all daft. She saw the change that had come over her usually vivacious daughter, and she knew the exact cause of it. Having a perfectly brilliant idea come to mind one day and was almost shocked at the answer she received to her suggestion.  
  
"Ginny dear, you haven't been looking too well, perhaps you're a bit under the weather?" Mrs. Weasley commented in fake concern, for she knew what was wrong.  
  
"Oh no mum, I am quite fine I assure you. just been thinking about what Hogwarts would look like this time of the year." the younger Weasley didn't even seem to realize what had come out of her mouth, for she just sat there staring out of the window into the snow covered hills.  
  
"I see," a smile formed on the old woman's lips as she said this. "Well, your father and I were just saying, the other day in fact, how much we'd love to send you down to Hogsmeade, seeing as you haven't been since when? Since you were in Hogwarts I'm sure. You know a bit of an early Christmas gift, you could go and see all the things you miss, make a week of it, you know? " She watched her daughters face brighten as she said this.  
  
Trying to conceal her pleasure, Ginny answered her mother as casually as possible, "You know what mum, that sounds like a right nice idea. I'm just going to have to take you up on that offer." There was a definite change in attitude in the younger Weasley after the deal was made.  
  
"Good, well then get packing dear," Mrs. Weasley made to leave the room.  
  
"Wha, why so soon mum?" asked a confused Ginny.  
  
"Oh, well your father took the liberty of booking you 8 days at the Three Broomsticks, starting tonight." Mrs. Weasley said this in a hurry and then left quickly before any protests could be made.  
  
She didn't know exactly how it happened, though she replayed the moment over and over in her head, but suddenly Ginny Weasley found herself walking up those ever-familiar steps with a feeling of half dread and half excitement in the pit of her stomach. Having owled Prof. Dumbledore on the previous night of her arrival, Ginny had already gained permission to once again explore the many mysteries of Hogwarts. With some reluctance Ginny stepped through the towering oak doors into the great marble entry hall. The few added years since Ginny had been there had done nothing but add more magnificence to the already spectacular hall. She watched with longing as students milled about looking young and carefree. Judging from the sounds and smells wafting from the great hall, Ginny could tell it was lunchtime. Not taking a second glance at the entrance hall, Ginny made her way into the great hall and was blown away at the sight that greeted her. Whoever had done the Christmas décor had obviously put much effort into it. There was the perfect amount of garland hanging along the walls, trees in every corner, fairies that were enchanted to act as lights, and much much more. Ginny stood there for quite some time entranced by all that she saw. She was in such a state that she did not see a rather tall and green-eyed fellow come up behind her.  
  
Harry was walking into lunch when he saw her. She was as enraptured as the first years, like she was taking in everything for the first time. He smiled as a giddy expression came over her face, making her more beautiful then ever, and promptly made his way towards her. Grabbing her arm softly, Harry nearly made Ginny jump out of her skin, and good- naturedly laughed at the expression on her face.  
  
"What the hell - Harry! You nearly gave me a heart attack. Blimey!" Her cheeks were flushed and a glare had formed on her face as she said this. "Well that's a cute face," he said jokingly. "So why are you here Gin?" Harry was just as entranced by her face as Ginny had been by the hall.  
  
"Certainly not to see you," she snapped back harshly. Regret clouded her mind a moment after as she saw a pained look flicker across Harry's face.  
  
"Nice to see you too." He said as he shook his head and began to walk away.  
  
"Harry." She began, but all he gave her was a backwards glance and distance. Ginny's arm still felt fuzzy from where he had touched her.  
  
Pushing her conscience aside, and momentarily forgetting the rift she  
  
had already formed between her and Harry, Ginny explored the castle and found it much unchanged and to her liking. While wondering down the corridors in an absentmindedly sort of way, Ginny suddenly found herself in front of the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom. Sensing that no one was around she took a chance and opened the door. The coast was clear. Treading lightly, she entered the classroom and began to explore. Every window, nook, cranny, and desk held some different memory, many belonging to Ginny Weasley herself. The changes that Harry had bestowed on the room did not go unnoticed. While taking it all in, Ginny did not notice that she was not the only one in the room.  
  
"Looking for something Miss Weasley?" asked a formal voice. The bright headed girl once again jumped at the sound of Harry's voice.  
  
"Blimey Harry, that's twice today you've snuck up on me!" she said all this while studying his face. He didn't look angry, nor did he look pleased to see her again in such a short time, but she couldn't really blame him.  
  
"Hmm. Well I'm sure you'll understand but I really have a lot of homework left to grade, so if you'll excuse me." He said all this while stepping aside making room for her to pass to the exit, but she didn't move.  
  
"Look Harry," her anger rising slightly, "I'm sorry about earlier, I know I acted like the worlds biggest prat, and I'm sorry I was so bloody rude. I'm really sick of being angry at you, can't we just move on and forget about everything?" She asked meekly, almost in some reluctance.  
  
"On one condition," his tone did not waver.  
  
"Yes?" gulp.  
  
"Friends again?" It was more a statement then a question, but a wild grin spread over his face as he said it, so she knew he wasn't mad anymore.  
  
"Al-alright, friends," she said, hoping she wouldn't come to regret her decision. However, she was quite relieved that she didn't have to put up a false front of anger around him anymore.  
  
"Good," Harry said nodding his head in agreement before barraging her with all sorts of questions like; where are you staying, how long, why, etc etc. Ginny went on to say that her mum and dad had arranged all this, she told about Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks and how she was leaving just before Christmas. Harry kept an alert audience and asked questions in all the right places without seeming too nosy, though it couldn't help to be noted, he looked very pleased indeed to hear all of this.  
  
"Well Harry, it is getting rather late and I really should be getting back to the inn before it gets entirely too dark," she shifted nervously in the darkening classroom.  
  
"I'll walk you back," he said while fastening his cloak.  
  
"Oh that really won't be necessary," Ginny may have accepted his offer for being friends, but having not had a decent conversation with him in over 3 years, she certainly didn't want to find herself in the situation of a moonlit stroll with him.  
  
"I insist," his tone was final. Sighing in defeat, Ginny left the classroom followed closely by Harry.  
  
The two walked on in silence, which Ginny, to say the least, was very thankful for. Snow covered the Hogwarts grounds in mounds. It looked as though it had very recently snowed, for the ground was untouched and looked eerily beautiful in the pale moonlight. Raspy breaths were coming from both of them as they trudged through the knee deep snow; Ginny tried to concentrate on the cloud that her breathing was making, reappearing every so often. Hogsmeade, and the Hogwarts gates, came into view, much too soon in one of their opinions, and in an eternity in the others. Before Ginny knew it, the doorsteps of the Three Broomsticks appeared, and the warm of the inn was beckoning her come.  
  
"Well, erm, Harry it was nice walking with you, I guess I'll be seeing you around sometime." She stuck out her hand in a nervous sort of goodbye. Harry ignored the hand. Kissing her cheek the way old friends often do, Harry said his goodbyes, not in the least bit nervously.  
  
"Good night Gin." He said and then started back towards the looming castle. He left a very stunned Weasley, indeed, on that doorstep, but not giving so much as a backwards glance he didn't know it.  
  
A grinning Professor made his way through the snow, not caring that his galoshes were quickly filling with snow. It surely wasn't a passionate romance, nor even a sweet and nervous engagement, all it was was friends and a kiss on the cheek, but the now blushing man couldn't have asked for more at that moment in time.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
All too soon, the week was over and Ginny Weasley was saying her goodbyes to Hogwarts, Hogsmeade and a certain raven-haired teacher. Promising to come and visit again, Ginny left Harry on very friendly terms, but nothing more then that. Ginny honestly wondered why Harry had been giving her sly looks every time she mentioned she'd see him soon. She put it out of her mind, however, as she took the train home. Floo powder would have saved time, as would apparating, but Ginny couldn't bring a trunk with her while apparating, so check one there, and floo powder was not the girls choice way of traveling. The Hogwarts express chugged on through the soft countryside giving peace and rest to the few people actually aboard. Though the ride was some 8 hours, Ginny found it was over all too soon. Lugging her trunk behind her, Ginny looked around expectantly for her parents, but saw Charlie instead. Dropping her things, she went and scooped her older brother into a tight embrace.  
  
"Home for Christmas eh Charlie?" She gave him a warm smile.  
  
"Would rather be home then anywhere else," he said while playfully tousling her hair.  
  
"Hey!" she yelped in mock anger, then set about smoothing her hair.  
  
"I'll go get your things," Charlie volunteered. Ginny waited for her brother to retrieve the fallen trunk and carpetbag and then the two began the journey into the muggle world. Not having a clue as to how they would be getting home (floo powder and apparating out of the question,) Ginny looked around wildly trying to find out what the secret may be. Following her older brother, Ginny saw them headed towards an old fashioned black car. Ginny wondered if it was Charlie's. As if knowing what she was wondering, a mysterious figure stepped out of the driver side exit and popped open the trunk. Ginny tweaked her eyes and stopped dead on, causing a muggle behind her to abruptly bump into her.  
  
"Harry?" Ginny gasped. Confused and wondering if this were some sort of joke, Ginny passed Charlie and promptly made her way to the car.  
  
"Harry what in Gods name are you doing here?" She asked, anger slightly rising in her voice.  
  
"Calm down Gin. Your mum owled me and invited me for Christmas. Seeing as how I would be completely devoid of all good company this upcoming week," he flashed her one of his famous grins here, "I readily accepted. I do hope you don't mind." He said all of this in a tone that told her he didn't care if she did indeed mind because he was coming anyways.  
  
"Oh! No no, I don't mind, it's just I didn't expect to see you this soon," Ginny tried to cover for her blunt speech earlier.  
  
"You seem a bit enthusiastic there Gin to be having Harry over, eh?" Charlie had snuck into the conversation and couldn't help but tease.  
  
"Nonsense," said Ginny, "I was just shocked is all. Now hurry up you two and we'll be on our way," she retorted snappishly. The boys exchanged amused looks and then scrambled to put the trunk away, not caring to test a Weasley woman's temper.  
  
The drive to the burrow only lasted a little more then an hour, seeing as there was relatively no traffic. Snow had begun to fall during the second half hour and by the time the trio reached the burrow; a snowstorm was heavy in the makings. Hopping out of the car as soon as it had reached a stop, Ginny made her way hurriedly inside leaving the work for the boys. As soon as she'd slammed the door her mother came bustling out of the kitchen to sweep her into a warm hug. Though Ginny had only been gone for 8 days, she had missed her mum with whom she had formed a special bond with, seeing as she was the only child who still lived at home. Minutes later the boys, looking very frumpy indeed, (for they had just dragged a much too heavy trunk through the midst of a storm) trudged into the kitchen and began the process of taking off their damp over wear. Before either of the boys could complain about the door they had found so conveniently closed in their faces, Ginny hurried upstairs, trunk in tow.  
  
Upon her return downstairs, Ginny found Charlie, Harry and her mum all enjoying a warm cup of tea and cheery conversation. Ginny had found that her visit to her past had brought back memories that were both funny, happy and depressing all at once. Not quite in the mood for a hearty chat she decided to take her tea into the lonesome sitting room. Grabbing the comfiest old chair she could find, Ginny stared out into the storm. Somehow the storm reflected her mood, turmoil and indecision. The snow would drift this way, and then get howled back into line, and then yet again get shifted another way. Before she knew it, a heavy sigh had escaped from somewhere inside the small woman. Ginny liked it when things were pleasant between Harry and her, but there was still pain there. At least there was no bickering as there had been over the summer. If they were friends now, Ginny wondered why she felt like this.  
  
"Oh God no." The thought hit her just as the man of the hour himself entered the room bearing an equally warm cup of tea. He wore a silly grin like the one she used to, and still did, love so much. She returned his smile with a half grin half grimace combination that did not do much to flatter her face.  
  
"What's wrong Gin? I haven't seen you look so sour since, well, since a long time at least." How was she supposed to answer this? 'Oy Harry, I've just discovered I'm still in love with you, you prat! But only I can't tell you this because well, because of what you did to me last time I surrendered my heart.' That's what came up in her head, but she knew that was no way to answer. In a panic, she just shrugged her head and said,  
  
"Oh bah, tis nothing, just the weather I suppose," and then sipped her tea hurriedly, causing her tongue to be burnt.  
  
"The weather eh? Hmm. if I recall correctly, you told me once that storms of any kind were your favorite type of weather," he looked at her triumphantly.  
  
"Well Harry, that just goes to show how much people can change over the years," putting her tea down she left the room in a hurry not keen on being further interrogated. Shaking his head in disbelief, Harry decided to leave it at that, besides, in the way she took off, it seemed to him that she would rather not continue that conversation.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The weekend drew to a close and the week of holidays sprang open in such a hurry that Ginny swore someone was tampering with the clocks. On Christmas Eve Mrs. Weasley had planned a wonderful clan filled gala. The whole lot of Weasley's were to be there along with their significant others. Around noon that day, Hermione, Ron and their little daughter Lily showed up via floo powder. The riot that was Ron greeted Harry in such a huge display of brotherly affection that Mrs. Weasley wondered if Ron had eaten something funny. Of course other then the fact that Ronald was disappointed about Harry's drop from the Cannons, the two got on splendidly. A bit later in the afternoon, Fred, George, and their wives Angelina and Alicia showed up with Weasley children galore in tow. Only minutes after the two pranksters and family had shown up, Bill, who arrived dateless, and Charlie with his wife Cecil arrived causing the kitchen to become mayhem city once again. Everyone who valued his or her head was glad to leave the kitchen in peace to Mrs. Weasley Sr. who was trying to prepare supper.  
  
After greetings were exchanged, various bouts of boys, girls, men and women made their ways upstairs to get settled. Trying to avoid the sudden rush, Ginny hid in her doorway until a certain mob had passed. Once the coast was clear, Ginny rushed out trying to get back down before any little pairs of feet, or big pairs for that matter, could trip her up. Unfortunately for her, it didn't take a mob to get her tripped up. Stumbling entirely too fast down the stairs, Ginny gracefully tripped on the third to last stair. Fortunately for her, her once upon a time hero was there to save the day. Yes you guessed it, Harry. Upon seeing his bright maiden falling, he rushed to her aid catching her right before she tumbled through the doorway.  
  
"Ow, oh Harry, thanks," she said while trying to straighten up, which was near impossible seeing as how Harry still had his arms grasped tightly around her. Looking up with a sly grin, Harry spotted a rather lumpy clump of a mysterious Christmas plant.  
  
"Looks as though we've landed under the mistletoe Gin," he said while still holding her.  
  
Shrugging off his grip, Ginny simply said, "Silly muggle tradition really," and then bounded away. With a sigh and a slight chuckle Harry followed her into the kitchen.  
  
On her way to the kitchen, the conversation inside Ginny's head went something like this.  
  
'Oh Virginia Weasley, who are you kidding? You wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss you.'  
  
'Who said he wanted to kiss me?'  
  
'Come now Ginny, you were his fiancé, you know exactly when he wants to kiss you and what look he gets in his eyes when he wants you. That look was no ordinary look.'  
  
'His eyes. oh I know that look alright.'  
  
'So why'd you stop him you silly git?'  
  
'Oh shut it.'  
  
'Why should I? Now tell me, why'd you stop him.'  
  
'Because I'm not going to let myself get dragged into that again.'  
  
'Too late darling, you're already in way too deep. You love him still. You never stopped loving him. Just admit it.'  
  
'What? Love him. Well maybe. but still. I can control my emotions! I'm not completely helpless.'  
  
'When it comes to Harry you sure are.'  
  
'No I'll be fine.'  
  
'Ginny and Harry sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.'  
  
'Stop that!' 'Fine, suit yourself.'  
  
Ginny mentally slapped herself and then ducked into the warmth of the kitchen, with Harry close at her heel.  
  
That night's festivities were a jolly occasion as were the next morning's and evening's; all too soon, the fun was over and only one night was left until the clan emptied ship again. Not wanting to put a damper on anyone else's spirits, Ginny decided she'd go through with what she was planning on doing that night after everyone had gone to bed. She had been in inner turmoil about her decision but she decided it was the only way to show Harry that things could never be the same again between them. All too soon, midnight came and the last of the adults headed upstairs. Harry, who had seen Ginny lingering behind, decided to stay back also. Something was obviously tormenting Ginny. Her hands were clenched and her face was screwed up in concentration. When she looked like that Harry had always had the urge to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her cares away. Tonight was no exception.  
  
Ginny didn't like what she was about to do, as it was bound to hurt Harry, who she had grown close to in friendship over the last two weeks, but she had to go through with it; for his sake and hers. Glad to see he had taken a hint to stay behind, Ginny paced the floor desperately, wishing there was someway around it. Harry approached her, she could see from the corner of her eye, with a genuine look of worry on his face.  
  
"Gin," he said, sounding upset and restrained, "what's the matter? And don't give me any rubbish about nothing, I can tell you're upset about something." His hand had latched on to her arm as he said this. Brushing him gently away, Ginny screwed up her courage once again, and began the hardest words she would ever say to him.  
  
"Harry, I have something that belongs to you, I think it's time you had it back," a look of complete sadness came over her face as she said this.  
  
"What? What do you mean Ginny?" He looked confused and suspicious as he said this.  
  
"Here," she pressed something hard, smooth and cold into his hand.  
  
"What?" He looked down into his palm and realization dawned on him. "Ginny, what? No this, this was a gift. I, I can't take this back," he tried to give the object back, but Ginny refused to unclench her fists.  
  
"I'm sorry Harry," she said while tears welled up into her soft blue eyes.  
  
"Gin." tears were welling in his own eyes as he fingered the small silver and diamond-encrusted ring. "Why are you doing this?" He brushed a few tears away mechanically.  
  
"I'm sorry Harry," she repeated, and then rushed out of the room, sobs now wracking her tiny body.  
  
Harry sat there in silence for more then an hour, not bothering to care about the tears that now flowed freely. He knew what this had symbolized, but until that moment he hadn't wanted to give up hope. Bringing his face down into his hands, Harry let grief pour through him as he thought, once again, about how he had thrown away everything that one summer's day.  
  
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	4. love gained, love lost

A.N: So how'd ya like part 2?? Well here goes part 3. I'm not sure exactly how many parts there'll be. it all depends on how many pages it turns out to be typed. Ok so enjoy! Oh just one more thing, hehehe, the angry scene where Harry picks Ginny up, well I'd like to thank Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara for their inspiring couple work. Margaret Mitchell, you've truly inspired me for this scene ;) ;)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Recap: Ginny just gave Harry back her old engagement ring symbolizing they were over for good. Can Harry ever win her back? Will hearts be broken once more? Read on.)  
  
The weeks dragged on for Harry. Even his fun job at Hogwarts couldn't make him happy anymore. He carried the ring around in his pocket constantly always playing with it in spare moments. It wasn't as if he had expected her to trust him right away, but giving him the ring was the worst possible damage she could ever have done to him. Harry walked around in a daze even when Ginny did keep true to her word and come for monthly, sometimes weekly, visits. Even though her smile could brighten him some, Harry sunk even deeper into his solemn state. When school was finally drawing towards a close Harry found himself feeling very relieved. His teaching had become less enthusiastic since when he had begun and everyone noticed it. Dumbledore had offered Harry a second year but Harry declined. He wasn't the only one who was miserable.  
  
In the months since Christmas, Ginny hadn't been the same. She walked around in some sort of a stupor, refusing to tell anyone what had happened that night. No matter how hard her family tried to drag it out of her, Ginny couldn't bring herself to tell them that she had possibly lost her greatest love forever. It was the same thing every morning, fumbling hands struggled to button up whatever article of clothing she put on, eyes were red from crying, and a deep icy feeling in her heart told her she had messed up any chance of them forever. If the truth be told, Ginny didn't want to trust Harry with her heart again, but even distrust cannot always get rid of old feelings. Sometimes, even when we protest against it the most, the greatest kind of love is the love that dies hard.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry sat on the edge of his bed one June evening playing with the ring, like usual. His brow was furrowed in thought as he remembered what exactly did happen that fateful July night.  
  
* Flashback *  
  
A 19-year-old Ginny sat on a sofa in the worn sitting room of the Burrow. She didn't know why she was here, nor why Harry had wanted to see her like this. Waiting, with a look of confusion and worry on her face, the young woman stood up and began pacing the floor rapidly. Head down and fingers nervously twitching, Ginny bumped right into the just apparated man, causing her to fall down on her rump. A nervous laugh was let out as a tall and thin man of his early twenties held out his hand to retrieve her from her fallen state. The red head looked to him expectantly, but he looked as nervous and worried as she. The room was dark as night, only a pale moon shining in. Ginny didn't have the heart to ruin the eerie effect of the moon dripping into the room.  
  
Thoughts of regret and confusion poured through the young mans mind as he looked at his beautiful lady friend. He didn't know why he was going through with this, but when he saw his pale reflection in the darkening window, he screwed up his courage and looked her in the eye. He could see the look of confusion, it was etched all over her face; deciding not to look her in the eye, the fumbling man turned to the hearth, and pretended to study it with deep interest. He saw her playing with the ring on her finger absentmindedly and tears started to well in his eyes. He didn't know how to break the silence; he didn't know where to begin. Luckily for him, he wasn't the first to speak. His heart fluttered at the sound of her voice, causing him to wish there were some way around this.  
  
"Harry, why won't you look at me? Did, did I do something wrong?" tears sounded in her voice as she said this.  
  
"No Gin, never. You're perfect," He smiled weakly through his blurred vision.  
  
"Then, I don't understand, why are you here? Did something happen to you?" a few confused tears stumbled down her smooth cheeks. It took every ounce of restraint left in Harry to not touch her soft face again and wipe away the tears. There would be no going through with this if he even so much as touched her.  
  
"Gin. It's me, I'm, I'm no good for you." his voice broke slightly as he said this.  
  
"Oh don't say that Harry, I love you, nothing else matters to me. I love you, do you hear me?" She almost shouted this as she rushed forward to embrace him, but he held her back.  
  
"Oh God Harry, there's, there's blood all over, what is going on?" her face turned pale as she looked at him, the moon now making his image, and robes, more clear. Dark blood, still warm, covered his robes, and cuts and bruises could be seen on his face.  
  
"Harry, what the hell is the matter with you?" asked a very confused Ginny.  
  
"Gin," he took a small step forward, "Gin, I need to go away. I need you to understand that I'm sorry, and that I still love you. I am so sorry," He shook his head regretfully, then kissed the ashen faced Ginny softly, and stepped back. She stood there with a look of immense confusion and horror stuck on her face as if she couldn't believe or comprehend what the hell Harry was doing.  
  
"I'm sorry." he said softly.  
  
"Dammit Harry," she screamed, but then he was gone, and he saw no more. He wasn't there to feel a ring hit him smack in the forehead, he wasn't there to see a small body crumple up on the floor, sobs wracking through her, he wasn't there to explain why he left, he wasn't there to kiss away her worries, he was gone.  
  
* End flashback. *  
  
The young professor let that memory play through his head over and over again. No matter how many times he regretted it, he knew it had been for the best, even if his heart told him otherwise. He was no good for Ginny Weasley. He told himself that every night, causing his torment, if possible, to become even greater. You're a murderer Harry, a cheat Harry, a scoundrel Harry, a drunk Harry; he let these thoughts and names pour through his head, blinding him of the one thing that could cure his depression, love. It was true, he did love Ginny, more then he'd ever loved anyone, but it scared him to death. Somehow even when he hadn't doubted her affection for him, thoughts had poured into his mind about how unworthy he was of her. As Ginny and his renewed friendship once again drifted apart, Harry grew more and more reliant on alcohol to heal his hurts. Mrs. Weasley had offered Harry a spot at the Burrow over the summer, but in desperate need to get rid of some of his wealth, and not particularly keen in seeing Ginny for a long amount of time, Harry decided to travel Europe instead.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ireland was where Harry ended up first, but that lasted less then a week, seeing as there were too many pretty red heads to remind him of the one red head he wanted but couldn't have. Then came Spain, Switzerland, Romania, Hungary, Luxembourg and finally France. One day in southern France, Harry met a very pretty girl named Helene. After sharing many rounds of drinks and lots of flirtation, Harry invited her back to his hotel. Helene readily accepted. As soon as the door to the room closed, Helene flung herself on Harry, and he on her. Not being in his right mind (as they were both well beyond drunk), they quickly proceeded to the bedroom; where the happenings would not at all have pleased Ginny Weasley.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A very wasted Harry awoke the next morning next to a very naked woman. Confused about why she was in his bed, Harry tried to think back to what had happened. As if it in the smacked in the face with a video of what happened last night, realization dawned on Harry causing his head to whirl, and thoughts of Ginny's disappointed face to come into view. Groaning and getting off the bed, much to the displeasure of his head, Harry began rapidly packing, deciding to take the cowardly way out of the problem. Leaving the room quietly, and hopping downstairs, Harry spoke to the concierge about the, err, situation upstairs, and left a very generous tip. Finding the nearest wizarding location possible, Harry decided the inevitable was going to have to happen. He was going to go back to the Burrow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tossing a handful of floo powder into the flames that licked before him, Harry stepped in and practically shouted the Burrow. All too soon the nauseating feeling of being swirled around returned to him, it didn't help that he had a major hangover. Upon arrival at the Burrow kitchen, Harry promptly made his way out to the back garden and retched several times into a potted shrub. Walking weakly back into the kitchen, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, Harry noticed something he hadn't before (probably because he was in such haste). Ginny Weasley stood at the sink scrubbing some vegetables. The look of horror that had come on her face to have seen such a display was one that made Harry giggle (the effects of the alcohol not completely worn off). Ginny wondered in obvious confusion what had made Harry giggle. Seeing him sway lightly she took charge of the situation, in a motherly sort of way. Holding on to his shoulders gently she led him upstairs to Ron's old room, which was still brightly orange (a colour that did not help Harry's pounding head). She tucked him into bed giving him a little kiss on the forehead before she left. It was all very comforting to Harry, especially the kiss. He didn't speak at all, for his stomach still threatened to betray him if he did.  
  
Much to his surprise, Harry awoke when it was dark out. Sensing that it couldn't be later then 8 o'clock, Harry trudged downstairs, the remnants of a headache still causing his head to pound every few steps. Finally, though the journey seemed an eternity to Harry's troubled head, he made it into the kitchen and plopped down into the first empty chair he spotted. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny had been in a heated chat about something, Harry suspected it was him, for they stopped talking as soon as he entered.  
  
"Oh you poor dear, how about a nice hot cup of tea? Ginny dear put the kettle on." Mrs. Weasley got up and immediately began to get all sorts of trifles out, sandwiches, cheeses, crackers, tea, anything she thought would strike Harry's fancy right now. As Mrs. Weasley put a plate of various foods down before him, Harry had the sudden urge to get out to that pot again. Knocking over his chair in retreat, Harry made it outside just in time. Walking back inside and looking quite shaken, Harry made his chair right and then sat back down, pushing the food to the opposite side of the table.  
  
"Oh dear, that won't do at all," Mrs. Weasley said as she scooped away the food, "let's just try with some tea first then, shall we?" She planted a hot cup of tea in front of Harry. Nothing had ever looked more inviting. Sipping the tea slowly, so as not to disrupt his stomach once again, Harry looked over at Ginny who was trying to look very interested in a bowl she happened to be scrubbing.  
  
"Thanks for earlier Gin. wow I must have had too much to dr-, err I mean, traveling from France to Britain by floo can do nasty things to ones insides," 'Great cover idiot' Harry thought as looked again over towards Ginny. She was still scrubbing the bowl and with just as much "interest". He still reeked of alcohol, but he hadn't noticed until then.  
  
"You can go take a shower if you want," it sounded more like a command then a suggestion the way Ginny said it. Harry gulped; she was definetly not pleased with him. Getting up, Harry saw the shocked look on Mrs. Weasley's face and knew exactly how she felt.  
  
The cold water pouring over him did wonders for the remains of his headache. When his shower was over, Harry dried off, got dressed in some pajama bottoms and a robe, and headed downstairs, wondering if Ginny was still down there. Much to his luck, she was, and this time she wasn't scrubbing pots or pans but was sitting at the table, looking very troubled over a cup of tea. Her frown deepened as Harry entered. He took a seat across from her and just sat there in silence for a second.  
  
"Gin. I, erm, get the feeling that maybe you're a bit mad at me?" Harry asked rather then said.  
  
"How dare you show up here drunk Harry Potter? My mother may be blinded in her obsession over you, but some of us would have had the decency to not show up like, like that!" she was fuming now.  
  
"Gin, I'm sorry." he said meekly.  
  
"You should be," her glare was venomous. After saying that to him she got up angrily from the table and stormed out the back door. Deciding to take a bit of a risk, Harry quickly leapt up and followed her.  
  
The wind was blowing harshly as Harry raced out into the night. He supposed that they were in for another harsh summer storm. Looking up at the night sky, the dark clouds rolling in confirmed his suspicions. Not wanting to leave his ladylove in the midst of a rainstorm, Harry looked around, almost frantically for her, and saw her walking angrily towards the orchards on the other side of the hedges. He started after her in a half run half jog. Seeing as she was no longer stomping furiously, Harry caught up to her quite quickly, and grabbed her arm, much to her fury.  
  
"Why did you even bother to follow me out here Harry?" she asked angrily.  
  
"Gin, if you haven't noticed we're in for a storm, come on back inside," he replied, starting to get very frustrated at her temper, which, even for a Weasley woman, could get set off quite easily.  
  
"Oh well thanks for being so considerate," she said sarcastically, "but last time I checked I WAS a grown up and could make decisions for myself," she said while wrenching her arm away.  
  
"Virginia Weasley, if you don't get inside this instant I will throw you over my shoulder and bring you back in. Don't test me either because last time I checked I was stronger then you!" his frustration had reached a boiling point. Flashing him a deadly glare, Ginny stood there firmly making no suggestion that she was moving any time soon.  
  
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you," and much to her protest (she could hit pretty hard for such a little woman,) Harry picked her up quite easily and threw her over his shoulder. Harry could hear her yelps and feel her flail about madly all the way back to the house, but it was lucky he had picked her up then, for right before they had made it to the door, the rain came down in bucketfuls. Amazingly though, both escaped the rain remarkably dry.  
  
When finally inside the cover of the house, Harry set Ginny much to his relief and hers. He rubbed is back wincing a bit, like said earlier, Ginny had a nasty sting when she wanted to.  
  
"Oy Gin, you really can hit hard. I pity your brothers immensely," he said this with a half grin half grimace on his face.  
  
"You deserved every bit you got Harry Potter!" she stormed out of the room.  
  
"Women," he muttered.  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" she shouted from the stairs. Shaking his head with a chuckle, Harry headed upstairs also, thinking that perhaps sleeping all of that day's, and the previous days, happenings would be the best solution for both of them. Trudging once again into the orange room that had plagued his head so much earlier, Harry climbed into bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry woke the next morning very early. It was still dark out when he got out of bed, but there was no use in trying to sleep anymore. Sneaking downstairs silently Harry made way to the kitchen without thinking. Putting some water in the kettle absentmindedly, Harry got a tin of hot cocoa out of a cupboard and put a few spoonfuls in a mug. When the water had boiled Harry poured some into the mug and stirred it, thoughts other then cocoa filling his mind. As it began to get lighter, Harry heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Judging from the lightness of them, he knew it must be Ginny. Sure enough, a minute later a very groggy looking Ginny entered the kitchen, scowling the moment she saw Harry. Returning her scowl with a mocking grin, he offered to make her some cocoa.  
  
"I'm very capable myself, thank you," she retorted. Obviously the little sleep she had gotten (from the looks of it,) hadn't done her much good in forgetting the previous day.  
  
"Good morning to you too." Harry said grinningly. As if not wanting to drop the subject, Ginny brought up a country that Harry was not too keen to discuss. "So I suppose France must have been very fun for you then." she said in a semi hurt voice.  
  
"No not really," he said hoping she would drop the subject.  
  
"Mmm. What were you doing there before you came?" She obviously wasn't going to give up that easy.  
  
"Nothing really. Just exploring, erm, different, ahem, areas of France," he shifted nervously in his chair. Ginny must have suspected something but all she did was simply narrow her eyes.  
  
"Fine then, but I know you're hiding something," she said and then turned away to start breakfast. 'Damn,' Harry thought, 'this girl knows me too good.'  
  
'So then tell her the truth,' said another annoying voice.  
  
'No way, she'll hate me,' replied Harry's own voice.  
  
'She'll hate you worse if you wait. but whatever.' the voice went away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Breakfast was a relatively pleasant experience, considering the circumstances. Mr. Weasley managed to lighten the mood with his absurd questions about all kinds of muggle devices imaginable. Mrs. Weasley just sat there shaking her head in a silly way, but some people just don't change, and Mr. Weasley was one of them. After breakfast, with a peck on the check to Ginny and a peck on the lips to Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley left for work, still working the same job as always. Mrs. Weasley offered to do the dishes and shooed the two young people away good-naturedly when they offered to help. Not knowing what else to do, the two headed outside into the now bright morning.  
  
Deciding silently to walk to the pond, the two uncomfortably started off together in that direction. Harry couldn't help but smile as he remembered all the times in the past they had walked to that pond together. He found himself grabbing her hand a bit nervously, and much to his pleasant surprise, she didn't wrench it away. She just looked at him curiously, and then walked on, still holding his hand. Memories of how they would sit together watching the sunset flooded his mind causing him to grin in remembrance. As they reached the pond, both seemed to have the same spot in mind, for the found themselves by a big, ever familiar, boulder that was perfect for leaning against and looking at the water. The two sat there in silence for a good couple of hours, leaning against each other, reminiscing about days not so long ago.  
  
"Ginny, how'd I ever let you go?" Harry broke the silence awkwardly. Ginny didn't respond, she did, however, smile weakly through tears.  
  
"How'd I ever let you leave?" She asked, her voice breaking softly. Harry looked down to see her beautiful face glistening with tears. He leaned down, as she looked up at him, and kissed her softly. Ginny struggled with herself, she had wanted this for so long, but she was confused. She didn't want to get hurt again, but she loved Harry so much. Even as she was thinking this, words from a strangely familiar song came to her..  
  
" Are you gonna Live your life wonderin' Standing in the back Lookin' around? Are you gonna Waste your time Thinkin' how you've grown up Or how you missed out? Things are never gonna Be the way you want Where's it gonna Get you acting serious? Things are never gonna Be quite what you want Or even at 25 You gotta start sometime I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go Now all I need is just To hear a song I know I wanna always feel like Part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight"  
  
After thinking about it a moment longer, she gave into her heart and kissed Harry back with all her being. After a few minutes of passionate kissing, the two broke apart, their breathing ragged from lack of air. Harry looked at her with a look that showed obvious longing. Ginny's pink cheeks flushed even more. Before she could stop herself, she found herself saying. "Are you sure you want to go down that road again Harry?" she was surprised at the words that seemed to just come out of no where.  
  
"Ginny, I've waited 3 years to get you back, I'm not about to lose you again," and before she could answer him, he leaned down and kissed her again, his hand running through her long hair. The two were lost in each other from that moment on.  
  
Mrs. Weasley grinned as she looked at the clock. It was 5 pm and the two still were gone. In a knowing way, she chuckled, and then began to prepare dinner, thinking they'd be hungry when they returned. Meanwhile.  
  
Harry and Ginny lay there in the stillness of the afternoon. They fit together perfectly; Ginny with her head slightly on Harry's chest, Harry with is arms around her slender waist, both of them just enjoying the silence. Harry was startled a bit when Ginny sat up abruptly. She pulled her shirt back on and then looked at Harry seriously. Harry knew something was wrong to make her look at him like that. Sitting up also, Harry started to lean in to kiss her, thinking it would make her smile. Instead, she put up her hand and stopped him.  
  
"Harry, don't," she said, but she didn't sound angry, yet.  
  
"What? After. well you know what, you don't want me to kiss you? How can I contain myself! I finally get to be with a woman I love and I am not allowed to kiss her!?" Harry said all this in mock anger.  
  
"A woman you love? Not the woman you love?" Harry knew he had messed up there.  
  
"Gin you know you're the only woman I've ever loved," Harry said genuinely.  
  
"But not made love to." Ginny said in realization.  
  
"Gin, we're together now, we're happy, please don't let me lose you again," Harry sounded desperate now.  
  
"Harry, were you with a woman the other night?" Ginny's eyes were filling quickly.  
  
"Does it matter?" wrong again Harry.  
  
"Yes," she said plainly, but she already knew the answer.  
  
"Fine, yes Ginny I was. and yes, I slept with her, but I didn't love her. I love you, and you know that," Harry looked to her pleadingly.  
  
"Harry, I, I think you should probably go now," a tear trickled down her cheek which she brushed abruptly away.  
  
"Gin, no, no I can't lose you again, I'd go mad. Please Ginny, no," Harry looked as if he might cry also.  
  
"Harry, just go." she said softly, without any trace of anger. What was worse though is she sounded disappointed; Harry couldn't stand to have her disappointed with him. Slowly, he rose from the ground, gathered his shirt and pants, put them on, and then stood there.  
  
"Harry." she looked at him, not sobbing, just crying. Her face gave away her feelings. She wanted this just as much as him, but Harry had blown it. Taking that as his cue to leave, he walked slowly back to the burrow, cursing himself all the way.  
  
Molly Weasley was curious as to why Harry was walking back alone to the Burrow. From the look on his face, she knew something was wrong.  
  
"Harry dear, what's the matter?" She looked worried.  
  
"Mrs. Weasley, to put it lightly, I just blew any chance of ever getting your daughter back. I'm sorry," he walked out of the kitchen with his brow furrowed in an angry way. Biting her lip, Molly looked to see if Ginny was coming back also, but after 10 minutes gave up looking out the window. Harry came back downstairs a bit later, trunk in tow, and with an envelope in his hand.  
  
"Mrs. Weasley, you've always been like a mum to me, I'm grateful, I really am. Tell Ginny I love her, and, and would you give her this?" He handed her an envelope that had a slight lump in it. Mrs. Weasley simply nodded her head and bit back tears. She pulled Harry into a tight embrace before he stepped into the fire amidst the green flames (green from floo powder incase you're wondering). He looked down, shouted out the name of his flat, and was gone.  
  
Half an hour later, Ginny came in, eyes red from crying, and headed straight for her mum. The two shared a tearful embrace, and then Ginny sat down to tell her mum the whole story. Both were in tears again at the end.  
  
"Oh Ginny dear, I'm so so sorry," her mother truly looked sorry.  
  
"Thanks mum, I just, I just thought it'd be different this time. We'd both grown up a bit, and well, I just thought he loved me. but I guess not," she looked downcast as she said that.  
  
"Of course he loves you, he always will Gin. Love like you and Harry had won't die that easy," her mum got up to finish fixing dinner.  
  
"Then why didn't he stay? Try and win me back?" Ginny looked truly distraught.  
  
"Because he knew you'd need time," her mum eyed the mantel, "Oh Gin, I almost forgot, he left you this letter," she handed her daughter the lumpy envelope. Confused, Ginny tore it open and dumped out it's contents. She gasped a bit.  
  
'My dearest Ginny,  
  
god, you'll never know how much I love you. I love the way your hair falls onto your shoulders, I love the way the sun makes your eyes sparkle, I love the way your hand fits mine, I love everything about you. I'm sorry I was a selfish prat, and I hope in time that you'll learn to love and forgive me again. I want you to know first of all that I am sorry, even if you don't believe me now, please try to. Secondly, I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again. Lastly, I won't try and contact you for a while, I know you need time. I love you so much it hurts. I thought for a moment there that things would be back to the way they were, but it was again my folly that messed it up. Write to me when you can, I'll always remember what we had. God I'm horrible with words, but I love you so much, and I just don't know how to express it, I guess my gift will sum it up. Please don't try and return it to me, because I won't accept it. I love you.  
  
~Harry'  
  
And there, sitting on the edge of the table, was a very familiar, size 5, silver, diamond encrusted ring.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	5. Hello Harry, Goodbye Ginny

Three weeks passed since the second bout of heartbreak for the two. Harry fell hard-core into alcohol once again, while Ginny moped around the house talking to no one, and hardly eating her meals. It was a trying time for both of them, and though Ginny wanted so much just to have Harry back again, she wanted him to change his ways first. She caught wind of his alcohol stint from Ron who had been to visit a few times. According to Ron, Harry looked, and I quote, "awful." One morning in late August, Ginny woke up feeling very funny indeed. As soon as she smelt breakfast that morning (coming from Mrs. Weasley you know breakfast would be a good smelling thing,) she felt like retching, and promptly made her way to the bathroom to do just that. Shaking weakly, Ginny decided to skip breakfast that morning and sleep instead. When the same thing happened for the rest of the week, Ginny knew something was up. She decided to do some research.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A week later, Ginny decided she needed to visit Hermione. Doing something she rarely did, Ginny picked of the fellytone, or was it the telephone?, and dialed Ron and Hermione's flat in London.  
  
"Hermione?" Ginny squeaked uncertainly.  
  
"Ginny? Well this is sure a surprise! How are you doing?" Hermione seemed to remember this was Ginny, so she put on a voice of pity during her last question.  
  
"Hermione, I, I need to come speak to you about something," tears sounded in her voice.  
  
"Whatever's wrong Gin?" Hermione sounded genuinely worried this time. "I need to talk about it in person. Can I come over now?" Ginny asked hopefully.  
  
"Yes, yes of course. I'm just putting Lily down for a nap, so come over straight away," Hermione said in a rush.  
  
"Ok, I'll be over there in about 5 minutes. Bye," Ginny's tears had subsided.  
  
"Alright, bye Gin," Hermione said and then hung up the phone.  
  
Five minutes later, a tear streaked Ginny apparated to the door of Ron and Hermione's flat. Knocking, she turned her back on the door trying to wipe away the tears that still remained. As the door opened, Ginny turned around to reveal a blotchy face and puffy eyes.  
  
"Ginny!" Hermione gasped before pulling her into a tight embrace. Ginny just stood there crying on Hermione's shoulder for a bit.  
  
"Ginny, does this have to do with Harry?" Hermione asked curiously.  
  
"Yes. and no. oh Hermione it's all my fault!" Ginny yelped before breaking into a fresh round of tears. The young woman just stood there sobbing for a moment before her friend broke the silence.  
  
"What? What's your fault?" Hermione was thoroughly confused now. She searched her friends face.  
  
"Hermione. I'm. I'm pregnant," silence.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The two girls sat there weeping and talking late into the night, not even bothering to cook Ron his dinner. Hermione asked how it happened, Ginny explained. A million questions came into Ginny's mind. What would she do for money? Would Harry be there? What would her parents think? When the tears had finally dried, Ginny spoke once again.  
  
"Hermione." Ginny said. She looked into her friends eyes expectantly.  
  
"Yes?" replied Hermione.  
  
"I, I don't think I'm going to tell Harry, yet," Ginny looked down ashamedly as she said this.  
  
"What?! Why? You have to! It's his child too! He'll want to come back and be there for you, and him or her, Ginny you have to!" Hermione tried to give her every logical reason to. It hurt the girl to see her friend in such shame and pain, she realized she had made a mistake lashing out, and gave Ginny a hug instead.  
  
"Hermione, listen. I want Harry to come back on his own accord, because he has straightened his life out, because he loves me, not because he feels obligated. I don't intend to keep this a secret from him forever. just for now." Ginny drifted off. Hermione nodded her head.  
  
"Ok, I won't tell him either, but you know you are going have to tell your family, and soon." Hermione looked at Ginny as if in doubt.  
  
"I know, I know. I think I'll tell mum first thing tomorrow. I only hope she isn't too angry," Ginny felt tears spring into her eyes as she said this. Pulling a handkerchief out, she wiped her eyes quickly.  
  
"Oh Ginny, your mum won't be mad! She loves children. Besides, you're a big girl now, and she knows that," Hermione patted her back lovingly as she said this. The two sat there in elongated silence for a little while. Finally, the younger of the two broke the silence.  
  
"Thanks 'Mione, but I really should be getting home, it's late, and I'm sure Ron will be wanting to steal you back," Ginny smiled through her tears.  
  
"I'm glad you thought to come to me Gin, it means a lot," She gave her a friend a hug and then walked her to the door.  
  
"Owl me first thing tomorrow Gin," Hermione said, though more as a question then a demand.  
  
"I will," and then she apparated.  
  
Ginny Weasley walked tiredly up the stairs and into her room. Thoughts plagued her well into the night about how she would tell her parents. She had no idea how they would react, and was, quite frankly, not looking forward to finding out. Her thoughts shifted then to Harry. Harry, her baby's father, the one man she always had, and still did, love. She knew she couldn't tell him; it would just seem like some desperate attempt to bring him back. So maybe he wasn't around for her, but she was now carrying a part of him, and that cheered her up slightly. Finally, around 3 in the morning, Ginny fell into an uneasy sleep. The next morning, Ginny made her way downstairs, not bothering to get dressed. As she walked into the kitchen, she began to play with a certain familiar ring on her (as she often did when nervous). Clearing her throat, she had no idea where to begin.  
  
"Ahem." Ginny cleared her throat a little over enthusiastically.  
  
"Good morning Ginny, did you sleep well?" Her mum asked from the sink.  
  
"Um, well, no, too much on my mind you know?" she asked nervously.  
  
"Hmmm. So how was your visit to your brothers house?" asked Mrs. Weasley. She obviously didn't suspect anything unusual, for she continued her work at the sink.  
  
"Well actually mum, that's what I, we, need to talk about," Ginny began.  
  
"What is it? Did Ronald do something foolish again? Is Hermione pregnant?" Mrs. Weasley asked all of this in one breath. She stayed at the sink however.  
  
"Hermione isn't," Ginny said dryly.  
  
"Oh, that is too bad, another grand child would do me so good," Mrs. Weasley said dreamily. She looked out of the window as if expecting the stork to come storming up to the back porch.  
  
"Well, mum, you're in luck. I am," Ginny gulped.  
  
"You're what, Ginny dear?" Her mother didn't understand. She continued on cutting up sausages. Ginny gulped again.  
  
"Pregnant," a knife clattered somewhere by the sink. Her mum rushed to her side.  
  
"Oh Ginny, who's child is it?" Her mother was obviously daft.  
  
"Mum! You know as well as I do that Harry, well, that Harry is the only, the only one I've slept with!" Ginny seemed uneasy as she said this.  
  
"Well he'll come back of course, we'll just owl him right away," her mother went to get some parchment and a quill.  
  
"No mum. No. I'm not going to ask Harry to come back. He has to when he's ready, not just because he has a responsibility now," Ginny looked on the verge of tears as she said this. Nodding her head in a frustrated way, the old woman put the parchment down and ran to her daughter's side, scooping her into a hug.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Months passed by in the blink of an eye for the whole Weasley clan. No one in the family had a problem with Ginny's pregnancy, or if they did, they certainly hid it well. The women kept themselves busy by preparing a nursery in the old house for the baby. Soon it was May, and the baby would be due anytime. Ginny bustled around the house, snapping at anyone who dared to cross paths with her. It was enough to keep the men of the family quiet, and for once, Fred and George stopped playing any pranks at the Burrow. By mid May Ginny was frustrated beyond belief, she kept claiming that those "damn doctors" didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they gave her a due date. Finally, one morning on May 26th, Ginny got her wish. As she stepped out of bed that morning, a puddle of water formed around her feet, and a few sharp pains shot through her stomach. Yelping for her mother, a mad rush of feet sounded on the stairs, and pretty soon the whole Weasley clan was crammed into her room. Finally after she screamed at them all to shut up, the bumpy journey to St. Mungo's began. Once they arrived, Ginny and her mother were whisked away to a private birthing room, and thirty minutes later, Harry James Potter the second arrived in this world.  
  
Ginny lay in the hospital bed, worn out and unbelievably tired. She didn't even bother to sit up as her dad came into the room. He walked over to her, a proud expression on his face. Scooting a chair closer to her bed, he picked up one of her limp hands and stroked it softly.  
  
"Gin, I'm really proud of you, going through all this, without, by yourself that is," he had almost said without Harry, but thought better of it. He continued to caress his daughters' hand lovingly.  
  
"Thanks dad, but I wasn't alone. I had a whole clan there for me," she winked at her father as she said this. A sigh escaped her as she thought of the man that should be at her side right now. She let her mind wander to his sparkling green eyes, and the way his hair always looked as though he'd just come off a broom. Sighing once again she turned back to her father and smiled weakly. He gave her hand a last pat, then stood up to go. He walked to the door, then looked back to give her a smile. A look of horror came over his face, her body had gone rigid, and there was blood trickling freely from her nose. Arthur Weasley paled as his daughter started convulsing.  
  
"Someone, a healer, GET IN HERE QUICK!" he yelled while getting quite panicky. A rush of footsteps sounded in the hallway, and before he knew it, Mr. Weasley was being pushed out of the room, while the healers tried to discover what was the matter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ron, while the rest of the family was celebrating (they had not learned about Ginny's situation yet,) decided to pay someone a little visit. Making sure he told Hermione (he didn't feel like sleeping on the couch that night) he apparated to Harry's flat. His eyes scanned his surroundings quickly. It was dark and musky. Harry lay on the couch, a whiskey bottle hanging limply from his hand. Ron felt a strong surge of anger come through him as he thought of his sister lying there, having just had this drunk's child. Using his wand to clean up a bit, Ron wanted desperately to give Harry a good kick in the arse, but instead he controlled his anger and continued cleaning. Before he left, he wrote a note to Harry, and posted it on his fridge knowing that Harry would head there that next morning, for a beer or some other kind of drink. The note read as follows:  
  
'Harry,  
  
I don't know what the hell you're trying to prove by screwing your life up, but I do know something. There's this one girl I know, hey guess what? You know her too. She loves you more then she loves herself even. It's killing her, and the rest of us, to see you stay away for so long. It's killing her Harry, and if you don't change soon, you're going to lose the best thing that has ever happened for you. I'm sorry to be blunt, but that's what best mates are for. Think about what I said Harry, I'd hate to see you two fall apart because of miscommunication and lack of effort. Relationships are never perfect, but hell, she loves you, and you love her. Don't try denying it Harry, you love her, and you know it's killing her. Pull yourself together.  
  
~Ron'  
  
The next morning, Harry woke up very drunk, but by now he was used to side effects of the liquor, so his hangover was nothing compared to a certain August morning last year. Not even noticing the clean changes that had come over his rather filthy apartment, Harry headed straight to the fridge for his breakfast of alcohol, alcohol, and you guessed it, alcohol. He hadn't been eating lately, which caused him to look even thinner then usual. His eyes looked huge on his face, and there were constantly bags under them, giving him the appearance of an old man who never got enough sleep, or food. Harry stopped as he opened the fridge door, turning to see if his eyes hadn't deceived him, he looked on the fridge door and sure enough there was a piece of parchment, with rather messy handwriting on it, on the door. Scooping it up, Harry read it quickly. He shut the fridge door hastily, and re-read the note. Putting his head in his hands, Harry thought about how much he must have been letting Ginny down right now. She had never written him, so he had given up hope a long while ago. From the note, Harry could tell Ginny was still waiting for Harry. From the note, Harry could also tell that Ron had informed Ginny of his not so good behaviour. Getting up from where he was sitting, Harry made a decision, he couldn't lose Ginny again, he had to change.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Three years later Mrs. Weasley stood in the kitchen at the Burrow, she was looking tenderly at a small boy of the age of 3. He was outside playing with two of his infamous uncles. With hair the colour of ebony, and eyes a sparkling emerald green, Molly Weasley guessed he was a spitting image of his father at that age. Sighing in thought, Molly realized it had been almost 4 years since the boy's father had visited. Wiping a few tears away, she continued chopping the vegetables that sat soaking in the sink. Every so often she would look at her little grandchild and smile to herself.  
  
The sun had faded behind the horizon, turning the clouds that lingered in the sky to a purplish-orange hue. It was quite a beautiful effect Harry thought as he drove towards the tipsy house he had once considered good as home. He knew he could of apparated, it would have saved time, but Harry still needed time to think about what he would say to the love he hadn't seen in nearly 4 years. The Burrow came into view as Harry drove over a slight hill. The sight of it sent butterflies aflutter in Harry's insides. Pulling carefully onto the untidy lawn, there was no real driveway; Harry parked near the back gate. Sitting in his car for a moment, he finally got up and made way towards the door. Knocking shortly, Harry waited until he heard the soft pounding of feet to move his hand from the door. Stepping back a bit, Harry smoothed his shirt absentmindedly as the doorknob shuffled a bit. Finally the door sprang open, surprising the person standing inside very much.  
  
Molly Weasley did not cover the look of shock that came over her upon seeing Harry Potter (Sr.) at her doorway. She recovered from her shock quickly, however, and invited him in. Not knowing whether to smile, cry or hug him, Molly Weasley did all three at once. Hugging her back, Harry certainly felt he was being more warmly welcomed then he deserved. He let Mrs. Weasley lead him politely into the kitchen, but the person he really wanted to see was Ginny. He did note, however, how Mrs. Weasley seemed to stay off the subject of Ginny, when she had to have known the reason he returned. Finally, his patience was wearing off. Trying to be polite, Harry cut Mrs. Weasley off in the middle of her story about Hermione's newest baby.  
  
"Mrs. Weasley, Molly, you know why I'm here. Where's Ginny?" He gave her a look that begged her not to be offended by his interruption. He thought she was though when her eyes welled up into tears, and she started bawling.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Weasley, I was rude to cut you off like that," Harry got up to pat her back, but she shook her head.  
  
"No Harry, no no, it's not you, it's just. we should have written," Mrs. Weasley's lower lip twitched furiously as she struggled to hold back the barrage of tears that threatened to come again.  
  
"Mrs. Weasley, what exactly, what is it that you are saying?" Harry struggled to get the words out, he knew this could not be good news. Mrs. Weasley looked away from Harry's stare, and shrugged off his grasp. She went over to the sink, and said simply,  
  
"I'll, I'll have Ron take you to Ginny," Harry took this as a sign that Ginny had moved on, and didn't love him anymore. But still, at least he had a chance to win her back.  
  
Harry was confused as Ron led him out towards the back lot the Weasley's owned. The redheaded boy said nothing, he simply walked, face down, hands in pockets, brow furrowed, toward the meadow lot. Ron stopped at the edge of the meadow, and simply pointed towards a small garden. Confused, Harry ran towards it as the redhead made his way slowly towards the Burrow. Harry looked around frantically for Ginny, thinking she might be hidden somewhere in the tall grass. She was. Harry stopped abruptly as he came to a small tombstone. His eyes widened in fear as he came closer.  
  
"Please let it be someone else," he prayed frantically. He prayed in vain though. The tombstone simply said:  
  
"Here lies Ginny, beloved mother, daughter, friend and lover." Then, down at the bottom, a little quote stood etched in small letters:  
  
"No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets."  
  
Harry fell down on his knees, he hadn't gotten over the shock of his Ginny, his small, beautiful and vivacious Ginny dead. The air went out of his lungs, and for a moment he couldn't breathe. Raising his voice, Harry shouted to no one in particular.  
  
"If this is your idea of a joke," but he knew it wasn't. He just knelt there on the small grave, wondering if he had been a week sooner, would she still be here? He re-scanned the tombstone, something struck him as weird, but he hardly cared as he wiped away the tears that now refused to end.  
  
"Mother." he whispered into the air. 'So she had found someone,' Harry thought bitterly. Wiping away his tears, Harry made a promise to his dead love that he would come back. Getting up, slowly, weakly and suddenly feeling very afraid, Harry lugged his now heavy feet, and heart, back to the Burrow. Thoughts flew through Harry's mind, why hadn't they told him, when had it happened, what had happened.  
  
Harry still felt numb as he entered into the kitchen. He ignored the stares of sympathy that all threw at him; instead he walked straight through the kitchen, hall, and sitting room, and out the front door. He heard the door re-open and slam after he had exited. He wasn't in the mood to talk. Harry made it a whole half way to his car before he broke down in tears. Falling to his knees once again, he let the arms that comforted him stay wrapped around his shaking shoulders. After a few minutes had passed, Harry looked up to see Hermione stroking his hair in a motherly way. Her face looked torn, like she wanted to speak, but refused to.  
  
"Go ahead Mione, you can talk if you want." Harry wiped a few more tears away, as they had not yet ceased to flow.  
  
"Harry, I'm so sorry that no one told you, I thought for certain that Ron would." she faded off for a moment, "I know how you must be feeling-"  
  
"No, you don't," Harry snapped. No one had loved Ginny like he had.  
  
"She was my friend too," Hermione yelped, tears threatened to fall from her eyes also.  
  
"Sorry, I know, it's just, I loved her so much, and I never got to say goodbye," Harry looked down ashamedly as he said this. Hermione began to stroke his hair again.  
  
"Harry, she knew that you loved her, don't feel bad, she wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself. She loved you, a lot," Hermione brushed away a few hurried tears. Nodding his head, Harry stood up slowly, helping Hermione to her feet also.  
  
"Come back inside, please? Mrs. Weasley near flooded the place with tears when you left," Hermione looked to Harry expectantly. There was so much pain in his eyes. His brow was furrowed in half anger half grief, and his eyes were still red from the sudden outburst.  
  
"Alright," he glumly agreed.  
  
"Besides, you're in no condition to drive tonite," Hermione led Harry inside gently. She didn't know what was going on in his head, but from the look on his face, she could tell this had hurt him the worst out of all of them.  
  
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A.N: ok so I hated killing Ginny off, but a sad love story is always a good one. I love sad stories, a good cry is good every now and then. so the next part will be the last part.. I'll post it sometime soon.. Please don't get too mad at me for killing Gin off. Thanks. ~JillyWillyBean 


	6. another authors note! : :

Authors Note:  
  
Hey guys! Thanks so much for the lovely reviews. I'm in the process of finishing this story up, and starting a few others. If you are a Remus/Nymphandora shipper, look for a story to come, also I've started a story in the Voldemort/Ginny section. It's a darker tale, so if you like angst, check that out. Also, sorry it's taken me so bloody long to update, but I want to wrap the story up in a good way, and I'm in the middle of editing what I already had/have written. Thanks for the reviews!! : ) : ) I appreciate it.  
  
Love always,  
  
JillyWillyBean  
  
AKA: Jill  
  
PS: I'm thinking, since this story hasn't had a lot of fluff or romance scenes, I might do a bit of a prologue or "deleted scenes" type of a thing. (No nothing too graphic, just some more fluff or snogging.) Let me know what you think about that idea. Thanks!  
  
~Jill 


	7. A letter and surprises

AN: Ok ok, here's the second to last installment. I might add on a "deleted scenes" type thing of like flashbacks or something from the past. or maybe I'll write a prequel. we'll just see. lemme know what ya'll think about a prequel or something of the like! Thanks. ~JillyWillyBean AKA: Jill  
  
PS: this chapter is a lil gushy, so if you aren't in touch with your emotions you might not wanna read on. Just kidding, well it is gushy, but read anyways!!! Thanks! ~Jilly  
  
PPS: Thanks for all the reviews! Wippeee. I cannot believe I've gotten 18 reviews already! Thanks. and if you decide to review again, lemme know what you think of the prequel. Ok enough authors notes, ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
.  
  
Harry re-entered his once favourite home again. It was no longer a comforting place for him. Ginny was gone, and no one in the house had bothered to tell him, call for him, before it was too late. His Ginny. His sweet little Ginny, gone from him forever. The kitchen was a tense place to be at the moment, but Harry let Hermione lead him in there and sit him down. Ron, Molly and Fred Weasley were all at the table, sipping cups of tea quite morosely. No one said anything as a red faced Harry sat down. If someone had walked in right then, the silence would have been deafening. Every so often a chair would scuffle slightly, or a sniff could be heard, but otherwise, mouths were kept shut and apologies forced back. In silent frustration and guilt Mrs. Weasley made up another cup of tea for Harry. The steaming liquid sat untouched in front of Harry's running nose. The mug that held it had little cracks and other signs of wear covering it. Harry sat there, blandly wondering if Ginny had sat drinking tea out of this mug at one time. His thoughts became very sentimental and lovesick as he held the poor mug in his hands. Not thinking, Harry rose, making the chair he was sitting in fall to the floor with a thud. He shook with fury. He knew that he had screwed up and it was partly his own folly, but these "friends" of his should have called him back, before. before it was too late. Angry thoughts were rising in Harry's mind, and the mug in his hands practically broke under his tight grip. Letting all rational thoughts flee from his mind, Harry chucked the mug as hard as he could across the wall, and fled from the scene of the crime.  
  
Angry and wobbling legs managed to bring him up a flight of stairs and into a very familiar bedroom. Harry slammed the door behind him and then flung himself onto the quilted bed. It was the bed of a little girl, a little girl who had become a woman, a woman who he had fallen in love with. The yellow daisies that sprayed the worn linens were faded into a creamy yellow. Everything smelt of her, of vanilla and roses. Of sunshine and summer. That's what Ginny was. She was fiery, hot tempered, and gorgeous. But she was soft, sweet, caring and full of love. Harry let hot tears soak through to those mellowed daisies. A finger or two played with a frayed edge of the quilt. This room was uniquely Ginny, and he almost dared not touch anything as if to disturb her lingering presence.  
  
When his angry tears had ceased, Harry dropped the frayed corner, and sat up. The room was orderly and neat, but untouched. It looked as if no one had been in there for a while, for dust covered the worn desk and shelves that lined the room. Getting up, Harry gingerly smoothed the coverlet and walked towards a particularly worn bookshelf. Its shelves groaned under the amount of books that it held. Ginny had never been an obsessive studier like Hermione, but she had had a ripe passion for novels, both muggle and wizard written. Letting his fingers wander, Harry traced slightly the words the decorated those precious books covers. Titles like "Pride and Prejudice" and "Treasure Island" were found among other classics. Contemporaries filled the third shelf, and wizarding books the second. Harry smiled weakly as he discovered her unique organizing system. After lingering among the shelves for some time, Harry made his way to other parts of the room. Her closet was open, the many worn robes and muggle clothing still hanging in their spots. Each article of clothing was pressed and hung neatly, though all smelled of must and idle use. Harry flipped through the garments, remembering each and every one of them. When the dust finally got to his sinuses, Harry pulled away. A chest of drawers stood inside the closet (which looked suspiciously magically enlarged.) Little knick-knacks were on display. Figurines of animals, a very old Ireland National Team rosette, a vase full of dried flowers, every one of these items, and more, was covered in a thick layer of dust. Not wishing to disturb his loves handy work, Harry left the dresser untouched and proceeded over towards the desk.  
  
Her desk had been Ginny's favourite piece of furniture. Harry had known that as long as he had known her. She would sit there for days at a time scribbling down poems, stories and songs. Drawing had always been a fancy of hers; so many hours were also spent there laving over sketches or unfinished portraits. Harry often times would sit on her daisy covered bed and watch his little artist at work. The look of pure devotion and concentration that would come over her face was enough to make his heart break for her ten times over. Harry stopped right in front of the beloved desk. Papers littered the many nooks and crannies of the desk. Quills and ink pots were strewn all over the desk top, giving it a very homely look. A few small drawers were opened slightly, due to the many papers crammed into them. Harry gazed down lovingly at the desk. It held so many memories and so much Ginny that he thought his mind would burst. His eyes scanned the papers that lay artistically before him. A certain aged envelope caught his eye making him look twice. It was a good thing he did, for the envelope read:  
  
"To my beloved Harry"  
  
With trembling hands, Harry reached out to pick up the aged letter. His hands brushed across the stiff envelope, handling it gingerly so as not to crinkle the already brittle sheaf. Tears, hope and anxiety clouded Harry's face as he broke the wax seal. The seal bore the stamp of a rose, Harry remembered receiving many letters bearing that crest. Sighing slightly, he finished the task of unsheathing the letter, taking it's pages into his hands. Harry gulped back a few tears before he opened the scented pages. Vanilla and roses, it was Ginny all over again. As Harry opened the letter, he recognized the eccentric handwriting at once as Ginny's. The letter read as follows:  
  
"My dearest Harry,  
  
It saddens me to know you are reading this, not because you've discovered the letter, but because I can't be there to welcome you home. Obviously, if you're reading this, I'm gone. I'm sure Mum has clued you in on the happenings of the last three years, but if not, let me explain. My mother never was one with words. Her emotions she made quite clear, but I'm not sure she has explained everything in the proper way, and order it should be. I'm not a poet, nor an author, but try and let these words soothe you a little. If you loved, love me as much as you have claimed in the past, then there's no doubt you're shocked, upset even, over my death-"  
  
Harry paused here.  
  
"Of course I bloody loved you, and that line was the biggest understatement I've ever seen." Harry thought. Brushing a few tears away, and biting his lip, hard, Harry continued to read.  
  
"It seems strange to write about things that haven't come to pass yet, for me at least. But strange as it is, it must be done. Sometimes the hardest thing is just letting go, it's something that I've learned to do these last three years. Don't get me wrong Harry, I love you more then life it's self, but I've learned that I can live without your daily presence. It was hard at first, I thought 'Why the hell can't he just get his act together, I need him so much.' and sometimes I still wonder that. But then I realize how selfish I am being. It's not my place to try and improve your life or force you into something that you don't need or want. I still need you Harry, still want you more then anything. If there's a god, and if he'd grant me one wish, it'd be that we could spend just one more day together. Just one more peaceful-no-worries lazy summer day together. Just you, me, and the sunshine. I try not to forget all the good times we had together, and I find that is as easy as kissing you. It just comes naturally.  
  
I remember back to when I was 11. You came to stay for the holidays, and I almost wet myself at the site of you. Even back then I knew it was love. Eventually I lost my obsession over you, but not my love for you. Not once. It seems a bit silly to think of falling in love so young, but whatever the fates choose I guess. Then there was the first date. Finally you got some brains, and as Hermione would put it, you "realized I was a girl". That was one of the happiest days of my life. Just walking down the streets of Hogsmeade with you, ignoring the sniggers of the slytherins, and the whoops that the gryffindors let out. I remember how sweaty your hand was when you nervously grabbed mine. I think we were both shaking then. Damn those Weasley ears, mine turned bright red when we sat down to butterbeers together. Then, when you tried to kiss me at the end of the date but missed by a mile, yes Mr. Potter, my eye truly appreciated your kiss. A little later on in life, and many kisses later (hardly none of them reaching the proximity of my eye,) I remember you and I slipping away in the moonlight. The lake was eerily beautiful, and you told me not to spoil the moment. You were the first and last man I ever gave my body to, don't you feel special- "  
  
Harry brightened a bit at this, 'So she hadn't found a new lover,' he thought. His mind dwindled back to the "Loving Mother" that sat on the little tombstone.  
  
"That night is definetly up there on my list. Ah, then the turmoil begins. You left school a week later, and I was left to think of how lonely the next school year would be without the dream team, but more importantly, without you. You made an effort though. Each Hogsmeade weekend held an exciting thrill for me, and Christmas and Easter holidays were never long enough for me. Then, we grew up. We grew apart it seemed. I never stopped loving you Harry, but in all honesty I felt disgust, revulsion and hatred towards the character you were becoming. I wanted to save us, save you and me. It had to be a dual effort though. When you proposed, god, my life brightened immediately. I thought you still cared, I thought, everything would be ok now. Those three months were some of the best times of my life. Waking up next to you in the morning was the best feeling in the world for me, it was like getting a present each day. Then depression hit you, and alcohol, and I got scared. God, this letter sounds like such a guilt trip, but it's not. Please don't take it that way; please don't think I'm blaming you. I just need to get my thoughts down on paper; I need you to understand what I was feeling. So then there was the classic breaking up fight. I was so scared that night, so nervous, so anxious. All my fears seemed to be confirmed when you told me it had to end. I fell apart after that Harry. I thought I'd died and gone to hell. There was no more warm body to wake up next to, no person to talk to until all hours of the night, no one to kiss just for the hell of it. Sure my family loved me, but no one could or would ever replace you in my heart.  
  
After a long and trying time, my weeping state ended. The sadness I felt quickly turned to anger and bitterness, and I hated you. I hated that what you had done. I hated the thought that you could be so selfish. I hated myself because I couldn't understand why. I hated that you were scared, that you were unsure of who you were. Instead of being there for you, I turned against you, and I did it on purpose. I wanted to make you hurt and suffer like I had. It didn't bring me the pleasure I thought it would, because I still loved you. If you know me, which you do, you know I cannot stand to see anyone I love in pain. Do you want to know a secret? Even though I put on an angry act in front of you, I still wore an old shirt of yours to bed every night. It smelled like you, and though I wouldn't admit it to anyone, your very scent was a comfort to me.  
  
Anyway, so then you came back into my life. God, your eyes made me melt into a puddle of mush. You looked aged beyond your years, but still beautiful and perfect. I had to put forth A LOT of effort to glare at you that one night you came to dinner. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven this time when I saw your eyes. Your beautiful perfect eyes. Then, after the argument we had at your flat, I was surprised to see you kept your end of the "bargain". Sure I said I didn't want you to hurt my family, which is partly true, but truthfully, I didn't trust myself around you. I knew I'd fall for you again if you came around, so I tried to scare you off. Then you shimmied off to Hogwarts, and I breathed a sigh of relief. However, I found myself pining for you daily. It was unbearable. My Mum noticed right away of course, she's not daft whatever you might think. Only kidding there, I know you love my mum. What a sneaky old gal she is, she knew I'd fall for you again if I spent some one on one time with you. Well it happened. Then, I saw only too clearly you were falling for me again too. Call it women's intuition. So then I figured 'Give Harry the ring back and he'll get that you aren't ready to surrender to him again'. Let's say that has not been one of my more brilliant plans. It hurt me more then you'll ever know to see that I had punctured you in such a way. I'm sorry. I really and truly am sorry. That next year brought so much joy into my life. I got to see you every weekend if I wanted, no strings attached, no hearts to be broken. But I wanted more, I wanted more then just a friendship with you, and I wanted it badly.  
  
Well, you know what happened next. You distanced yourself, I wallowed in self pity, and then you returned. A jumble of emotions ruled my life that night you returned. I wasn't sure if I should be angry, happy, or sad to see you. I suppose I was all three. I knew right away what you had been up to. The stench of alcohol gave it away. However, I let that next day happen, without confronting you first, because I had wanted it to happen for the last 3 and one half years. It was bliss, just being there with you, in our spot. I used to wander there daily after you left. That day was the very best and the very worst of my life. I knew I was causing myself pain when I slept with you, because I knew the talk we'd have to have afterwards, but hell I didn't care. Call it lust, call it desire if you will, but it wasn't. It was a lovesick girl wanting desperately to be back in the arms of the only man she had ever belonged to. Then I told you to leave, the obedient puppy you were, you complied, leaving a heartbroken girl in your wake. It wasn't your fault, so don't think it was. I should of waited, it was my fault, not yours. Then, well, then a few weeks later I came up with a perfectly good excuse to have you come crawling back to me. I was pregnant-"  
  
"What the bloody hell?!" Harry said aloud. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as he re-read that line. Fury overtook him once again as thought of how no one had had the decency to beg him to return. Tears quickly replaced his fury as he realized on what he had missed out on and given up on.  
  
"Are you crying now? Shouting in disbelief? Trembling in rage because no one told you? Don't be mad at them Harry, I told them 'No, he'll come home in his own time,' and they obeyed me because they knew I was right. Better late then never, eh? Sorry, my pitiful attempt at a joke. Oh the irony of it though. Yes, well. back to my story.  
  
So here I was, a scared and confused (still lovesick) young woman, and on top of that all I was carrying my lovers' child. Whew, what a mouthful. I'll admit, it was such a comfort to know I somehow still held a piece of you with me. The pregnancy was miserable though. I wished that I wasn't so stubborn, because I would of called you back right then. Ron, however, informed me of your "state" of living, and I knew that I didn't want my, our, child to have to grow up knowing that. No offense Harry, but alcoholics don't make the best fathers. So then our son, Harry James Potter the second, was born on May 26 at 12:32 pm. He is a beautiful child Harry. Mum reckons he looks exactly like you would have at that age, I highly agree. He has your eyes, and your unruly hair, and your love of mischief.-"  
  
"I have a son." Harry whispered. Biting his lip no longer helped, tears leaked through anyways, slipping onto the already dampened parchment.  
  
"I'll try not to bore you too much longer with this overly long letter, but I had to tell you all of this, I want you to understand. Don't be angry with me for keeping all this from you, please. And please try and forgive my family, it's not their fault that none of them said anything. Blame it on me if you must, but please try not to be angry.  
  
Anyway Harry, Harry Jr. is so precious, he quickly became my reason for living. (That and the thought that maybe you'd come home soon.) I spent many weeks in the hospital however, even though the birth was a very easy and short one. Apparently I had a seizure of some sort, and blacked out. When I woke up, I was in one of the "critical condition" units at St. Mungo's. Tests were run, potions and spells tried, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, my parents took me to a muggle doctor. After something called "x-rays" I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. It was inoperable the doctor said, and the healers at St. Mungo's didn't know how to deal with it either. So, that left me to the inevitable. I was going to die. I'll admit, I was terrified at first. They gave me a few months to 2 years. 'That's very generous' I thought sarcastically. I fell into depression for a long time, thinking thoughts like 'why me?' 'why not someone old and worn?' things along that line. Then I realized I had to be strong for our little Harry. I put everything I had into making sure the memories we made together were good ones. He's sitting here on my lap as I write this, looking at a photograph of you. He's only one and one half right now, but I think he understands you're his papa. Please promise me that you'll tell him about us when he's older-"  
  
"Anything for you Gin." Harry's voice faded as a dry sob overtook him.  
  
"Tell him about all the good times we had, and the bad. Make him understand what true love is.  
  
I hope, Harry, that you'll be able to go on living life. Don't sink into depression on my account; I'm not worth it. See other people, go out, live life to the fullest, Carpe Diem my love. Anything it takes to make you happy, just please don't forget what we had. We'll see each other again one day, and if I'm not entirely satisfied that you lived your life fully, I might just not speak to you. You know I'm just teasing. I love you I love you I LOVE YOU! Do you get it? Is it in your brain yet? I'm sorry for being such a prat, I'm sorry that we didn't have more time together. What we had was good, great, perfect even. Remember Harry, "The heart that truly loves never forgets." I'll never forget you, wherever I am.  
  
I love you my beloved,  
  
Forever yours, Ginny"  
  
Harry sat there in stunned silence for a moment. A few hours passed as he re-read the precious parchment a few more times over. Before he decided to head back downstairs, the parchment was thoroughly soaked with a salty liquid known as tears. Harry couldn't get Ginny's beautiful face out of his head, or the fact that he had a son. A sudden urgency pressed on him; he needed to find his son now. Harry wondered if Harry Jr. were in the house also. Rushing down the stairs two at a time, Harry Sr. made his way into the not deserted kitchen.  
  
Mrs. Weasley looked frightened when she saw Harry come in at such an urgent rate. Her frightened look softened, however, when she saw the pain and remorse in Harry's eyes.  
  
"Molly, I'm, I'm terribly sorry for my rash behaviour earlier. I was being a terrible prat," Harry didn't have to say anything more. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Molly Weasley was hugging him through tears and assuring him it was alright.  
  
"Dear, it was only a mug." the old woman said as she embraced her long lost son tightly.  
  
"No, I was being a prat, I shouldn't have gotten angry. I just, just read a letter from Ginny, and I understand now," tears threatened to come again at the mention of the letter. Mrs. Weasley drew back in realization.  
  
"So, you know about Harry then?" she said in a quiet whisper. Harry Sr. nodded, smiling vaguely. Mrs. Weasley let out a small squeak of a sob and promptly scooped Harry into her arms again.  
  
"Where is he?" was all Harry asked. Drawing back again, Mrs. Weasley smiled a bit and pointed towards the stairs.  
  
"His room is up in Fred and George's old room," that's all it took to send Harry bounding towards the stairs again. Those seated at the table watched with smiles as they saw the eager father retreating to his long lost son.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A little boy of almost three sat on the edge of a well-worn bed. Grandma had told him to go play upstairs because an important visitor had come. She said she would call him down for supper later. Harry Jr. had obeyed without a word, being sent to his room, he knew, was not a punishment. After playing quietly for a few hours, he began to worry if his grandmother would ever remember that his stomach was growling like crazy and that it was getting dark. At quarter past 7, Grandma had brought him sandwiches, and promised he could come down soon. At 8 o'clock the little boy heard someone hurry down the stairs. Ten minutes later someone clamoured back up the stairs, and from the sounds of it, they were headed towards his room. The footfalls stopped directly outside of the little boys room. Someone knocked lightly.  
  
"Come in," he squeaked. Harry Jr. watched as the door creaked open slowly. A tall man with raven coloured hair, and the same eyes as him walked into the room. Realization dawned on the little boy and his eyes widened in shock. He looked over to one of the many photographs on his table and then back to the man.  
  
"Pa, papa?" the boy asked in shock. Tears welled up in Harry Sr.'s eyes and he nodded his head weakly. Needing no further encouragement, the little boy ran and flung his arms around the knees of the man he had heard so much about. Dropping down to the toddlers level, Harry (the original) pulled the little boy closer to him, stroking his unruly hair gently.  
  
"I'm home little one, I'm home."  
  
AN: sniff sniff. ok ok I know this chappie was a really emotions focused one, but I thought it'd be important. Ok so next chappie is gonna be like a return to the grave and what not. Lemme know what you think! Thanks! ~Jill 


	8. a special thanks to reviewers

Special Thanks:  
  
To all my reviewers, I want to give a SPECIAL THANKS, cos' it means a lot to me that you liked it enough to actually leave a note. So here are some individual thanks to each of you, and then sometime next week expect the last installment, and a decision about whether or not I'm going to do a prequel. Thanks for reading. Happy reviewing ; )  
  
-A hopeful writer: Thank you so much for your. 4 wonderful reviews!! Glad ya liked it, and I hope you'll continue reading! Oh and as to your question, Will Harry stay around?? I don't want to give TOO much away, but it looks that way.. ;-)  
  
-lovely lolly: thanks for thinking my story rocks!! I hope you enjoyed the chappie I posted, and look back soon for another to come.  
  
-Lautauro Padlin: an ass kicker eh?? Your review was one of the best I've gotten. Thanks : )  
  
-D.Torres: I know, I am cruel. I felt so bad when I killed Ginny off, but some things just have to be done. thanks for thinking it's good anyways ; )  
  
-harrypottergirlie89: glad to know you find my story cute, thankee kindly, woo hoo you reviewed twice!  
  
-artsygurl128: ahh I am blushing after reading these reviews, I'm really not that wonderful of an author, but thanks for saying so : )  
  
-Demosthenes42: I made you cry? Wow, that's good to hear. I was aiming for a sad story, well I hope you're not too disappointed with the outcome, cos' Gin and Harry sorta got back together. Yay, I got 2 reviews from you!  
  
-Satoriste: thanks so much. :-) I got 2 reviews from you too! Yippee  
  
-starrynight394: there's lots of chappies now : - ) hope you enjoy it!  
  
-Evo422: it is now updated : - ) enjoy!  
  
-catcher of dreams: it's really really good? Thanks! Hope you like it so far, I'm almost finished : )  
  
THANKS GUYS! I totally blushed after reading these comments. Wowo. Thanks for liking it, and I hope I haven't made anyone too mad with the way I'm wrapping it up. Oh yes, and I have a Tom Riddle/Ginny story started up in that Romance section. If you like dark and angsty stories go check it out, as long as you don't mind a little bit of language, it's gonna be an ok story. Also, for those of you who like happier stories, I'm in the middle of writing the first chappie for a Remus and original character shipper story. It's gonna be probably PG-13, and it'll take place during the marauders era!! Look for that soon. The category to look under will be Remus/all characters and Romance ;-) Thanks for reading.  
  
Love, JillyWillyBean AKA: Jill 


	9. Oh how the years go by

            Many years later, a boy of twelve and a man of thirty-six walked in a familiar meadow. It was summertime and the weather was glorious. Bright beams of sunlight flooded into the grasses that tickled the mans knees and the boys thighs. The two looked very much related, probably due to the fact that both looked almost identical. Both were wiry in frame, had raven coloured hair that never sat still, and had deep jade eyes. Perhaps the only thing that separated their appearances was the fact that the elder of the two had a thin scar running down his forehead. Then of course, there was the fact that one was much taller and more filled out then the other, as to which one, I think you know. They walked in a peaceful silence, neither wanting to ruin the beauty of the day with petty words. Of course they were there for a purpose, but their purpose was more of a bonding time then a duty. The pilgrimage they were making brought back memories of both sad and happy times. Though the younger of the two did not remember much of what was told to him, he appreciated the stories just the same. A slight breezed played at the grass and at the unruly hair of both males. The elder of the two looked over at his young counterpart and smiled faintly. She would be so proud if she could see him now. Unaware of what he was doing, the man looked up at the sky hopefully. Smiling weakly to himself as he realized his actions, he continued walking on.  
  
            Moments later, the two had paused in front of a worn headstone. The garden that surrounded the peaceful grave was overgrown but homely all the same. Words were etched carefully onto it with much love and thought being put into them. Not only were the words etched into stone, they were etched into the mans brain. He had spent many hours sitting at this very spot, reading poetry to, picking flowers for, or simply speaking with someone who could not hear him anymore. Sticking an aged hand into his pocket, he fingered a few pieces of very worn parchment. Written on those pages were the very words that had sustained his will to go on for that first year as a real father. The boy looked around nervously, and then waddled off somewhere to give his father a moment alone. Grateful at his son's thoughtfulness, the senior of the two sat down respectively at the edge of the grave. Pulling his knees to his chest, he wrapped two arms around his knees and sat in silence for a moment. It was a calm day, and while a tumult of emotions promised to erupt the softness of the hour, the man didn't care. After gazing almost angrily at the grave for a few more moments, he shifted his hands in his pocket and pulled a wrinkled piece of parchment out. Clearing his throat slightly, Harry Potter Sr. got to his feet and smoothed out the piece of paper. Looking down at the grave with a mix of fondness, anger and sadness, he began to read in whispered tones.  
  

    
    _"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._
    
    _ I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_
    
    _ My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_
    
    _ For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._
    
    _"I love thee to the level of every day's_
    
    _ Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight._
    
    _ I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;_
    
    _ I love thee purely, a they turn from Praise._
    
    _"I love thee with the passion put to use_
    
    _ In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith._
    
    _ I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_
    
    _ With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,_
    
    _ Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,_
    
    _ I shall but love thee better after death."_
    
    Pausing for a breath, Harry looked down at the mound of hard packed dirt and sighed. Using his shoe to loosen it up a bit, he bent down and tenderly folded the parchment. Slipping it in a small makeshift hole, Harry patted the dirt firmly and stood up again. He dusted his hands off, now teary eyed. Cautiously, his son approached, in with a last sniff, Harry wiped the tears away. A small hand reached out to touch the broad shoulder in front of him. Smiling halfway, Harry pulled his son into a hug. It wasn't an awkward or an embarrassing hug. Both felt that words were best left unsaid for the moment. After the embrace, the boy placed some carefully chosen flowers on the grave and stepped away. It was peaceful there. The trees that surrounded most of the small meadow were basking in the sunlight, and the golden hues of the grasses gave the place a positively glowing look.   

It was a few moments before either of them spoke.  
"Dad," Harry Jr. began.  
"Mm?" the elder man looked down at his son who was looking expectantly to his father.  
"Would, well, could you tell me about mum?" a smile flickered across Harry Sr.'s face at the request. He let out a sigh, where to start? Every time the two made a visit there, the same stories came up, but somehow it took new strength to tell them over again each time. Nodding in response, Harry started at the beginning. Back to when he was a second year, and she a first, and ending with the day he was conceived, though he did not disperse those happenings.   
"You loved her a lot, didn't you?" the boy said while staring out into the sky. The sun was beginning to drag low on the horizon, giving the clouds a reddish hue.  
"Yah, I did." Harry almost had to choke this out, it felt good and hurt at the same time to talk about the woman he had loved since the age of 17.   
"Why'd you leave dad?" that question caught Harry Sr. very much off guard, and it almost pained him to hear it.  
"She told me to, a lot of things happened… I should have come back but I was young and foolish then… I wish I could have been there for her, for you…" somehow it didn't seem strange telling all this to his 12 year old son. On the contrary, it was relieving.   
"It's ok, I still love you," innocence was such a precious thing. As Harry heard his sons unwavering confession, he nearly cried again. Squeezing the boy's shoulder slightly, Harry said his silent thanks.  
"What did she look like Dad?" the younger Harry asked. He knew what she looked like, he had seen photographs, but his father could always seem to describe her best.  
"She was the most beautiful woman in the world…" he went off to describe how her eyes lit up when she smiled, the way she smelt of vanilla and flowers all the time, how her hair glowed amber in the sunlight, and how her skin would become freckled during the hot weather. Harry Jr. felt a sense of pride, he was one hundred percent sure that his father was telling the truth. He knew that if he could see his mum now, she'd be the most beautiful lady in the world. Oh how proud she would be of him. He had just finished his first year at Hogwarts and was at the top of his class. Apparently he had taken after his aunt Hermione. But then again, he was his fathers' son, being that he was a natural flyer and all. The two had worked on seeker skills all summer, and the boy was just itching with the anticipation of trying out for the Gryffindor house team. Other then hearing about his mum, quidditch stories from his father were his favourite.   
"She'd be so proud of you…" Harry said as he gave his son an appraising look.  
"She's not gone, not really Dad," the younger Harry said this with such confidence that the older couldn't help but smile.  
"Yah, she's right here," the boy tapped his fathers chest where his heart lay hidden. Gulping back tears, Harry Sr. nodded his head and looked out into the sky. So maybe he couldn't kiss her into oblivion anymore, and maybe there was no warm body beside his at night, but she was still there. 

"Yah," he choked out. The two walked home as the dusk enveloped them.  
  
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FINITE! ; - )


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